Number of entries: 42

Hello, father. I had a confusion in the concept of the Providence of God. I read somewhere a long time ago that our life is made up of our will and the will of God (this is because we often act willfully, and the Lord does not force it). I'm having trouble finding work. I’ll make a reservation right away, I go to church, I confess, I take communion, I pray for work. The first time before finding a job, I spent 1.5 years at home. I worked for 9 months, and now I'm looking for a job again for the 4th month. How to understand if I am doing the right thing when I refuse an employer if I am very unhappy with the conditions (for example, a job that I have not done before, another city, a very small salary, of which more than half must be paid for housing, again in another city, and other). There are no jobs in my area of ​​expertise. Not in the specialty - it didn’t work out, then the employer didn’t come, then some other misfortunes. What if I engage in self-will and reject the will of God? Or does everything happen exactly as it was given by God, and there is no need to worry about this? Mine will not pass me by? All this is depressing. It alarms me that in a moment of despair I frantically pray for work, but the work options that follow this do not cause any desire to agree, on the contrary, they grumble and disgust. Maybe it's pride? But I tried to get a job at unpretentious places, however, which I chose myself, it didn’t work out. What should I do next? Sacrifice everything and get a job where you have to, stepping on your throat or waiting for the work to be to your heart's content? Thank you.

Marina

Hello Marina. Look for a good job. There is nothing shameful in this. You can earn a little money if the funds are scarce, but still look for where you can apply your knowledge with benefit and satisfaction. As for prayers for work, it is better to leave it all. God knows what you need. It doesn't matter to Him what you pray for, but how you pray. Your desire to find a job began to turn into a kind of passion, replacing the purpose and meaning of life. And God does not fulfill those petitions that are dictated by passion. You can also pray about work, but restrainedly, without torment: Lord, You know what I need, before my petition to You. If possible, fulfill my request for a good and beloved work. But let not my will, but Yours be done. Do not impute my unreasonable prayer to me as a sin, and have mercy on me.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Good afternoon! Tell me where to get the strength to survive all the trials? I am laid off at work, I have problems with buying an apartment, I am unlucky in my personal life. I go to church and pray. But for some reason, not everything is in vain. Hands down already. I believe that everything will be fine, but so far nothing good has happened. Thanks in advance for your reply!

Anna

Anna, when you don’t have enough strength for something in your spiritual life, remember your sins – we have thousands of them. This helps a lot to put our overheated mind in its place and not to grumble, not to be impatient.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father, I can’t find a job for a long time, I’m already desperate, which saints should I pray about this? I don’t want to live, yet all my friends and relatives condemn me, as if I’m in prison on purpose, they say, if I lived in the USSR, then they would put me in jail for this. I don’t know what happened then, but now employers are making big demands.

Catherine

Ekaterina, now is a difficult time: there are no capable trade unions, wild capitalism is in the yard. But you live in Moscow, and it's hard to believe that there are no jobs there. You didn't say a word about your profession, your education, or your ambitions. It is difficult to understand what is the reason for your failures with employment. Pray, of course, is necessary, but reasonably. It is possible that the reason is inside you: maybe you need to change your profession, you need to retrain, etc. Think about it! Read the Akathist to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker. Let him enlighten and instruct.

Archpriest Maxim Khyzhiy

Good afternoon! She lost her job through her own fault. Nothing can be changed. It hurts something inside that did the wrong thing. She confessed, but no work, no peace of mind. I know that everything is according to the will of God. But it happened because of my will. Please pray for me.

Oksana

Hello Oksana. Don't worry about losing your job. You didn't lose your arm. All yours is with you. And what can be lost was never yours. Seek first the Kingdom of God, and the work will be added. God help you.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello, father. Is it a sin to live in a marriage, but put off having a child because I have problems with work and I need to look for a stable job, or should I think about having a child first and not worry too much about not having a job? There have never been any pregnancies.

Catherine

Hello Ekaterina! Children are a blessing from God. Do not doubt that having given a child, God will give everything necessary for him. Work is secondary.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello, father! Help advice. Married to her husband, but it seems that love has already passed. We fight all the time, we don't understand each other. My husband does not help me at all with two children, neither morally nor financially. For 10 years, he never brought a salary. He does not have a permanent job, does not stay anywhere even for a month, and leaves without receiving a payment. This is how I live. Thank God, my mother helps (we practically sit on her neck), otherwise we would go with him around the world with an outstretched hand. I don't have an ounce of respect for him and I don't have any faith in him. He lies to me all the time. He is by nature a very deceitful person. At first I loved him very much, but then she was completely disappointed, and now it seems that I just hate him. He has a lot of vices. He drinks, and quite often. How disgusting he is to me, when drunk, I can’t put it into words (as if he’s not there, but a demon). Drunk can cheat on me, maybe he cheated. I say - it is necessary, before it's too late, to repent of sins - but he does not want, he says, all sinners. I am ready to forgive him everything if he would bring home at least some money to provide for the children. And he says that all I need from him is money. Although he didn’t give me a penny, if he got it, he drank it all away. Father, tell me what to do, how to live with such a person, because I do not respect him at all and do not believe him in anything. Thank you!

Lily

Lilia, when you got married, did you see his shortcomings and vices? And if you saw it, why didn't you think about it? What made you do such a reckless act? You have to work on the bugs. Think write about it. I refer you to my LiveJournal: http://clerical-x.livejournal.com/. Find there the material "Slave of Love" - ​​about the psychological dependence on relationships. Read the Gospel carefully, go to confession in the temple. And follow the section "My fortress" on our website.

Archpriest Maxim Khyzhiy

Hello. I would like to ask about this. Our family is 3 years old. Small child. So, the question is about the husband. I think that only you can advise something. I really hope. My husband has been unlucky with his job for many years. He goes to church and prays, and I (wife) pray at home for him to St. Spyridon of Trimifuntsky (because with a child there is no opportunity to be in the church in the service). He is both kind and sympathetic to me, does not drink, does not smoke, is well brought up - it seems that he is a good person in all respects, not only in relation to his family, but also to those around him. And how to work - so from the side you can say, as if someone cursed: they take a job - they deceive about everything (about the work schedule, about wages, which turn out to be 2-3 times lower. And so for 10 years they have been changing jobs. Employers they look askance at this. But you want to find a job so that you don’t have to ask your parents for help, so that you can support your family. And now he has become nervous on this basis, crazy, I would say. He said that he would not go to church, that God, apparently, does not like him very much and does not hear. How can I help, what can I do? All the time he has a waste of money - they even bought a car for the last collected (wedding) money - so they slipped the whole broken line, 2 times overpriced But he went to church and asked the priest several times for a blessing to work and to buy a car. And he went to confession. How to behave correctly in such a situation, how to help him? met at work) appeared - so he talked to her for hours t is advised. She studied psychology, but did not finish her studies, and besides, she has Psychic abilities. He used to, and even now, though less often, asks what she feels and sees about him. How should I react to this? Thanks in advance for your advice.

Elena

Dear Elena, in addition to the blessing for the purchase, it would be nice to also understand the subject of the purchase, or have a car specialist in such a case. Then the price will be real, and breakdowns are predictable. In the case of a car, one should not be offended by God. When hiring, a contract is concluded, where payment is stipulated. For this, except for the candidate for the position, no one will follow. To expect from God only a successful earthly dispensation is a big mistake; You don't have to start from the earth. “Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all this will be added to you,” the Lord directly shows us the priorities (Luke 12:31). When, with incorrect assumptions, a person encounters problems of the earthly plane, it is quite understandable to turn away from God in the direction of "psychics" who promise to help precisely with the earthly. True, you will have to pay for this with the eternal fate of the soul, but they will not warn about this. The saying "Trust in God, but do not make a mistake yourself" does not oppose the hope for the Lord's help to the labors of man, but teaches us to combine prayer to God and our efforts. An attempt to "settle" in this life with the help of "psychics", "witnesses" and similar figures will deprive a person and his relatives of that Divine help that he does not notice. Accordingly, this is how one should treat a "friend from work." You are doing the right thing by praying for your husband. Give him support so that he feels that the family is with him. Yes, it's hard right now. Thank God parents can help. And he will find a job. He will seek and find. You believe in him. Everything will work out, don't give up. This is how he should feel from you. Even if his faith has been shaken, your prayer will, on behalf of the family, ascend to the Lord. May He help your family!

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Good afternoon! Three years ago I lost my job. Friends advised me to go to a psychic. Since I was desperate, I went. They sold me an amulet there. A five-pointed star in a circle, and they said that he would help. I even wore it around my neck for a year along with a cross, but then something told me that this was not right. You can’t rely on witchcraft amulets, and even more so, wear it with a pectoral cross. I took it off and don't wear it. But I had a question: what to do with this amulet now? Just throw it away? Or melt down (it's made of gold)? Or something else? Tell me please! Thanks in advance.

Dmitry

Dmitry, first of all, draw conclusions and don’t get into the occult anymore. Learn Faith! Pray in the temple. With an amulet, you can do the biblical way: give it to a jewelry workshop for melting down, and donate the proceeds from this to your temple. The Israelites did something like this with the gold of the Gentiles.

Archpriest Maxim Khyzhiy

Father, hello. I wanted to ask you for advice on who to pray to in my case. My husband and I were left without work, while we worked in a Chinese company, he was 12, and I was almost 8 years old. My husband and I are worried, it's a shame, of course, that they do not value human relations. Help, father.

aria

Usually they pray to the holy martyr Tryphon to find a job. And don’t worry about the old work, it means that you are waiting for new job where you can do more than before.

Deacon Ilya Kokin

Over the course of three years, my parents and sister died one by one, then they divorced my husband, now they reduced my position (I served in law enforcement agencies, 6 years remained until retirement), I have two children in my arms. All sorrows are for my sins, all are according to the providence of God, but how not to be clouded in mind from cowardice, how not to fall into despair? We try to live a spiritual life with children: we pray, we read, we go to church on Sundays and holidays, we stand with them for memorial services for our parents, we plant flowers on the graves, we start the sacraments, but I only observe fasts (children take communion strictly on an empty stomach - 3 and 7 years old), I read akathists, we go on pilgrimage trips (not very far) with children.

Olga

Hello Olga. Despair from sorrows occurs only because of their rejection, and rejection, in turn, from attachment to the world with all its "benefits". Force yourself to thank God for exactly what is happening to you. Believe me, nothing is meaningless. If sorrows are allowed to you, then they are, firstly, necessary, and secondly, feasible. For, first God gives grace, and only then temptations. Try to always have a prayerful thought in your mind: "Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me." God help you.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Father, what needs to be done to put my husband on the right path, so that he has a desire to work and that he would stop lying?

Irina

Irina, as St. Seraphim of Sarov said, "save yourself, and thousands around you will be saved." First of all, we ourselves need to live with dignity and fulfill the Commandments of God. You need to pray for your husband. When we ourselves cannot do something, we turn to the One who can do everything - to God.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, father! Tell me how to do it right, in a Christian way. Marriage married, we live 6 years. The Lord did not give children at first, now I can guess why. As soon as I got pregnant, and until now - not life, but hard labor. My husband doesn't want to work. Constantly in drinking bouts, drinking away all the money that he finds, he took out all the gold. Doesn't let me and my child sleep at night, then demands a bottle, then money. When drunk, aggressive. He hates my relatives, he threw himself at my mother and father drunk. He's cheating on me, I know that for sure. I want to divorce him, I no longer have the strength, even health problems on a nervous basis. But the thing is, he threatens to steal the baby. And judging by his character, I am inclined to believe that he can do it. I am very afraid for the child, he is drunk and can cripple him. The child is not a year old. What should I do to somehow resolve this situation - expel him? .

Alyona

In such a situation, it is necessary to choose the "lesser evil". Get a divorce. If he threatens you, call the police.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Father, hello! My name is Marina. I am 26. Help me with advice. The fact is that I can’t work anywhere, I can’t work everywhere, then I’ll forget something, everything falls out of my hands. Now I got a job at an enterprise, I prayed to God that I could work there, but I face such problems, pressure among other people who look at me accusingly. Either I spill the paint, everyone looks askance and laughs, or I do something wrong ... I work there for a month, everyone says that it’s a lot to master the work, but I just can’t do it. And so everywhere, in the store, I can’t either, there will be a shortage or something else. For some time I sat at home without work, I live with my parents, I feel very sorry for them that they have such a daughter who dishonors them, since my father works at the same factory as me, and everyone respects him very much. I know that the Lord endows every person with abilities, I also have them, of course, but these abilities do not help me in any way in my work. I try, I do my best, I endure physical pain, because my hands swell, but I get lost and forget everything. I have a feeling that the Lord does not allow me to work, does not bless me for this. But life is very hard and you have to live on something. I'm not married, so I have to support myself. Help me with advice, I'm just on the verge of despair, I know that this is a sin, I believe and hope for God's help.

Marina

Nothing, Marina, even Moscow, they say, was not built right away. Here you are - slowly get involved, master, everything will work out for you. Just do not give up and just do not despair, do not be so cowardly and impatient. Be persistent! Everything will work out! But everything takes time - and that's perfectly normal. And don't pay attention to those who laugh - people always laugh at someone. Let's see if they will laugh when they realize that you work better than them!

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello. My name is Dmitry. I have a secondary professional education, I am a specialist in tourist services. Now unemployed, but I continue to study in absentia at the East Siberian Institute of Tourism in the city of Krasnoyarsk. The university has links with the employer. I applied for work practice from the institute, time passed, but there was no answer. I want to ask the clergy a question: in addition to daily morning and evening prayers, is there any Orthodox Church special prayers for the sending down of work?

Dmitry

Dmitry, there is no special prayer in our old church books, but this does not prevent you in your own words, as you feel and want to ask God to grant you work. There are thousands of cases in life when you want to pray and ask God, but there is no point in making up prayers for every occasion, because Christianity is freedom, a person must feel the presence of God himself and ask Him as a Father. It would be even better if your prayers sounded along with the church prayer - if you filed a note for a prayer service in the temple, so that the priests together with you would ask God about your business.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father! Such a question... I was always a believer, I prayed in the morning, sometimes I went to church, everything was fine. Now I have moved to believing relatives, they talk more about faith and the church, and I began to read their books (lives of the saints), a feeling of greater faith (if I may say so) came, I bought several icons, I pray in the morning to the Lord, Matronushka, but here's a paradox . I can't do anything in my business. For two months now they have not been hired, even where, it would seem, they should have been hired "with arms and legs", and this is the main thing that I now need to move out to a separate apartment. All sorts of sores have aggravated... Why? Isn't it all related? Thank you!

Catherine

Katerina, God sometimes sends us trials in life. We must firmly believe that nothing in our life happens without the will of God. If you are not hired, then this is not your place. The Lord will give you better, you just need to be patient and wait a little. God doesn't always do what we want. You pray and do not despair, and in due time the Lord will give you a good job. God is love and knows all your problems and desires. God wants to teach you to pray, endure life's hardships, and thereby strengthens you spiritually, tempers you. Finding a job is not a problem for God. All will be! The main thing is to pray.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Number of entries: 113

Of course, if possible, give up what confuses you and other people. I hope your employers will understand you.

Deacon Elijah Kokin

Good afternoon. Tell me what is the right thing to do? We have been living in a civil marriage for almost 4 years (without painting). The husband says that he works, but there is no money. For three years there was only a small amount. We want to get married, I pay for everything. We want children, but I don’t know who will support us later. All questions about money and work stumble upon resentment and the fact that he himself understands everything, but he does not succeed. Works at home as a programmer, but I don't understand why there is no money. Although before me he had a stable income. I don't know how to be. There is only one answer to all questions: there will be money, but when, he does not know. Can you give me some advice on what to do next? Sorry for the confusion.

Olga

Olga, let's start with the fact that you are in a sinful and illegal cohabitation with a man. This sin must be repented of. In addition, the Gospel says: "Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and everything else will be added." Therefore, first of all, you need to take care of your soul, you need to fulfill the Commandments of God, and the Lord will give us everything for our life. You need to legitimize your relationship as soon as possible, repent of your sins in the church at confession with a priest. You need to pray to God for your needs. God cares about our little things: "ask and you will receive," says the Holy Scriptures. So you just have to live the church life.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Good day! Tell me, please, which saint to pray to find good workers? Thank you in advance. Save me, God!

Kseniya

Xenia, personally, I have not met a special prayer for this case, but I offer you a general prayer for any petition. Strive to lead the church life. Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and everything else will be added. Live like a Christian and pray for your workers as your heart tells you. Prayer to the Lord, Lord Jesus Christ, our God, God of all mercy and bounty, His mercy is immeasurable, and humanity is an unsearchable abyss: I fall down to Your Majesty, with fear and trembling, as if I were not worthy of thanksgiving to Your benevolence about Your good deeds on Your former servants, now humbly bringing, like the Lord, the Lord, and the Benefactor, we glorify, praise, sing and magnify, and falling down again we thank, Your immeasurable and inexpressible mercy humbly praying. Yes, as if now the prayers of Thy servants are accepted, and mercifully fulfilled thou art, and in the fore in Thy and sincere love. and in all the virtues of those who prosper, Thy good deeds of all Thy faithful. Receive, Thy holy church, and this city, (or this whole city), delivering from every evil situation, and granting peace and serenity to that, You with Your Father without beginning, and the Most Holy, and by your good and consubstantial Spirit, in one being to the glorious God, always bring thanksgiving, and deign to speak and sing. Glory to Thee, God, our Benefactor, forever and ever. Amen.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, hegumen Nikon (Golovko). I gave up TV during the Lent, but at work during the break we all have lunch together, and out of habit one of my colleagues turns on humorous programs on his iPad, and willy-nilly I watch, then I try to disconnect from what they are talking about, but everything anyway, I’ll listen, then I’ll look ... I don’t have another opportunity to dine somewhere! And asking to turn it off - they won’t understand me and won’t even agree, and I don’t have the right to force someone ... At other times I don’t watch TV. Is it a sin, does it need to be confessed? Before the start of confession, is it necessary to kiss the Bible and the Cross, or is it done after the priest absolves the sin? Or should it be done before and after? I used to do this after the remission of sins, but on the Annunciation I noticed that they still kiss the Bible and the Cross even before confession, teach me how to start confession correctly! And is it possible to distribute the reading of the canons and the rules for Communion over a three-day fast before confession, or is it necessary to read everything in the evening before the day of Communion? Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it! Please answer my email! God bless you! Svetlana

Svetlana

Svetlana, I see that your conscience is embarrassed by this question, and this is a sign that in this situation you need to confess. As for other issues, it is customary to kiss the Cross and the Gospel after reading the permissive prayer of confession, and the Rule for Communion can be read more than one day, if it is very difficult to do the day before.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello! I had to quit my job last year due to illness. I haven't been able to find a job since then, although I have 25 years of experience in baking. Age 49, not suitable for employers. I want to start my new business: open a shop selling souvenir gingerbread. How to get a blessing for a new business? What needs to be done? I am baptized.

Kseniya

Hello Xenia. You can take a blessing from the priest in the temple. Tell the priest about your desire and ask for a blessing. Help God.

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Good afternoon, father, I have a situation at work: I go to lunch, and women ask me to bring them lunch, sometimes I bring them, but I started to refuse, because they can go themselves, and I go to church for lunch, and if they carry lunch, then I will not be able to go to church, but they can go to dinner themselves.

Bogdan

Hello Bogdan. So continue to do so - sometimes wear. Helping others is a good thing, but if it is not to the detriment of oneself. There is no virtue without reason.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Good afternoon! My name is Angelina and for a year now I have had a difficult period in my life - as soon as I find a job, I lose it almost immediately. I am a teacher of foreign languages. Either students suddenly cancel classes, or the group suddenly breaks up, and I need to live on something, there is no one to support me. I already understood myself from the point of view of psychology, as advised, but all in vain, work just runs away from me, although I work a lot. Everything has already been disturbed for me, and there is no sleep, and no appetite, I don’t understand what is happening, none of my relatives can understand. They say that you need to see some signs, but I do not see them. What should I do? After all, it is impossible to live without money! So not for long and say goodbye to this life, everything is only for the worse. I don't believe in the evil eye. Please help with advice. Thank you.

Angelina

Well, the sign here is simple and quite obvious: if the Lord does not bless something at the moment, it is destroyed by itself, and what it blesses, then somehow gets better by itself. Perhaps the Lord is pushing you to try something else: if you run into a wall, you need to move further along the wall, after some distance there should be a door. I also advise you to pray diligently to the holy martyr Tryphon, they usually resort to his prayerful help when looking for a job. Cheer up, God help you!

Deacon Elijah Kokin

Hello, father! Is it possible to read the morning or evening rule from an audio recording while sitting in a car (it turns out synchronously), for example, if there is no time, or you are late for something, and there is no way to read at home, or, it happens that it is more convenient in the car, and no one distracts. There are such situations several times a week when I go to and from work.

Gennady

Hello Gennady! Yes, but it shouldn't be permanent. Living prayer in front of the icon is preferable.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello, father! I'm 40 years old. I am a physicist by education, I work not by profession - an electronics engineer. I don’t like my job for a long time - I just earn a living. After school, I chose the wrong path. I really want to be a circus performer in the clownery genre (like Vyacheslav Polunin). To invent and stage numbers not just to squeeze laughter out of the viewer, but to evoke in him high noble feelings and experiences. No vulgarity or flat jokes. How can I know if my desire is in accordance with the will of God? Wouldn't it be a sin to pursue this profession? I really want to know the opinion/advice of the priest! Thanks a lot!

Dmitry

Hello Dimitri. I doubt very much that a clown whose goal is to "evoke high, noble feelings in the viewer" will be in demand in the modern circus and on the modern stage. But I am not an expert in this field of art, and my opinion is probably erroneous. To find out the will of God, you just need to, with sincere prayer, with the blessing of a confessor, if any, or any priest, begin to carry out your plan, trying not to sin against the commandments of the Gospel. If it is the will of God for this, then everything will work out for you.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello, father! I want to ask about the pain. How can a pregnant woman work at a very nervous, stressful job, and even with a boss - an elderly woman who has assertiveness, uncompromisingness, great ambitions, etc.? I have one child, I really want a second child with my husband, but I'm just afraid for his and my health during the gestation period. HOW to talk to a person or how to pray, and what can be done in general so that the life that is born in the womb does not perceive all the negativity that you have to "breathe"? Thanks for reading my question. I really believe that I will get the right answer to it!

Anna

Hello Anna. I understand your concerns. Rely on the will of God. If it is not possible to change jobs in advance, then, if necessary, you will take a sick leave for bearing a child more often, go to church services more often, and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. During pregnancy, wear the "alive in the help of the Most High" belt. A month before going on maternity leave, take paid leave, as it should be for pregnant women - so week after week and take out the child. Help God.

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Fathers, such a question. I work in a women's team, there is a lot of gossip, condemnation, discussion right at the table during lunch, I don’t want to listen to it, I just cry inside, I don’t support the conversation, sometimes I try and stand up for the object of discussion, but there is no one in the team who would support me. And so, I would like to ask how to be in such a team, what to think about these people, how to behave? Pray for them and for yourself? And in general, what to answer a person when he starts talking bad about another person, how to answer so as not to offend? Save you Lord!

Julia

Julia, we must avoid any condemnation, gossip. Do not participate in a conversation in which someone is judged. Keep your mouth from useless words. Do not condemn or justify, and if possible, it is better to sit separately, and if this is not possible, then pray while eating. When you are drawn into such a conversation, say so: I don’t want to talk about this topic, I’m not interested.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, my name is Anna, I am 17 years old. Now I am finishing the 11th grade, of course, the choice of occupation is ahead, and so on. I live with my parents and older sister. Relationships and atmosphere in the family have always been and are wonderful - I have never lacked love and attention. I am very grateful to my parents, and to my mother in particular, I feel great gratitude to her. I have been modeling for some time, and now a company from America is offering me a promising contract, therefore, I will have to go to America to work. I decided to postpone my university entrance until next year, and I don't want to miss the opportunity to build a career that is more interesting to me and to which I feel inclined. But mom is against it. From our conversations, the reason for my mother's disagreement is that she is afraid to let me go so far alone, and I'm still small, and my mother will be very worried about me. I understand my mother 100%, and I can definitely say that in her place I would have done the same. I am very sorry for her, and I am also very worried about what she is going through - for mom it is really hard and scary. But despite the above facts, I very stubbornly stand my ground, relying on the fact that I have my own life, and only I can build it. But at the same time, I feel selfish, since my mother’s position is based on care and fear for her child, she always lived for us (children), and put all the best into us, and my stubbornness seems to me just a spit in all this. What to do in this situation, I do not really understand, please advise something. Thank you.

Anna

Hello Anna. I think you need to rethink all the options for entering the university. Won't a year of work reduce your chances of getting in? I understand your mother's fears: by tradition, a prosperous girl from her parental home gets married, and does not leave to work without education. But the decision remains with you, so that you can’t reproach anyone later in case of failures. After all, you are already an adult. Help God.

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Good afternoon! Please help me figure it out - for the first time in my life I was going to hold Great Lent, but I could not. If I fast, I can’t work (work is connected with intellectual activity), that is, I sit like a somnambulist and slow down terribly, but at work I need to think and make decisions quickly. Here, I sit and despond now - how to be? I'm not looking for excuses - I know that many of them can be invented, only it all comes down to my spiritual weakness. I try to keep a spiritual fast, all my life I thought that I didn’t have such an addiction to food, but it turned out that it’s how it is! I don’t know how to confess this sin, after all, even after confession I will eat fast food during fasting. It turns out that I will aggravate my sins even more?

Alexei

Alexei, please do not lose heart and do not give up: the enemy has tempted you a little, and you, as I understand it, are ready to abandon your post. Nothing, not immediately, but gradually everything will work out. Train yourself little by little - eat so that you are in shape at work, and at home you can starve, and you will succeed!

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, please tell me, is it a sin to be a military man in peacetime (not to observe fasts, not to observe Sundays and holidays, numerous experiences, despondency, etc.) and tell me how to live righteously in this case? Thanks in advance.

Vadim

Vadim, now, in our days, it is generally difficult to live righteously, and even more so if your life is subject to some rules, which, in fact, are inherited from the godless Soviet era. In the army of times Russian Empire it was not so, the soldiers fasted, however, not the whole post, but the first, third and last weeks. Try to do the same for you, and God bless you for your diligence!

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello! My name is Konstantin, I am 26 years old. What do i do? Once I had a fight with a friend, it turned out like this. I had problems with work, because of this I was in a general bad condition, on the street (we were talking in the same company then), he tried to make fun in every possible way, trying to hook, laugh. Moreover, our whole company picked it up, they still didn’t like that I used to smoke, and at that time I tried to quit and I didn’t really want to drink beer every Friday and Saturday. But at the age of 20, it seemed to me that I would look more mature, because of this I simply did not communicate with them. I thought my friends would understand, but they behaved like children (only adults). After more than 2 years, I again began to communicate with this person, then he told me about the Vkontakte social network and helped me register there. Knowing my password and login (at that time I didn’t have a good computer yet), he began to use my data, humiliating me, insulting me in every possible way (uploading videos of a homosexual nature and much more in this spirit). I wanted to find it and just "smear" it on the wall, but my mom stopped me, didn't let me do it. We studied at the same school and class, I helped him as much as I could, and he ... He used my data, insulted and humiliated mutual acquaintances, friends, classmates. Because of this, I could not leave for a long time (I met these people, and they thought that I was writing to them, but in fact I was not on this page, and there is still laughter in my direction, but I I didn’t have that page) on the street, I even left the institute for 4 years, I was very hurt and insulted, even there was despondency and I didn’t want to do anything, but they themselves rested, enjoyed life. Thanks in advance.

Konstantin

If a friend suddenly turned out to be ... It means that he was not a real friend. Every person, sooner or later, has to endure betrayal by a person you trust. You know, it needs to be a little easier. Once someone hacked my page on the social network and on my behalf sent my friends a link to a porn site, and as you understand, among the "friends" on the social network there may be unfamiliar people. Well, what can you do? I changed my password and sent out an apology to everyone, explaining what had happened. I think everyone understood. During life, some of the friends disappear, new ones appear, and this is quite normal. So I wish you new good friends who will not assert themselves at your expense, but will support you.

Deacon Elijah Kokin

Hello, dear father! My husband and I are planning to open a small grocery store, and in my opinion, selling liquor is a sin. acquaintances say that, according to the priest on the church channel, the sale of alcoholic beverages is not a sin, it is a sin to consume them. Please resolve our doubts. Thanks a lot in advance!

When I find out that my friends got a new job / got a promotion, I feel envy ... I sincerely rejoice for them, for their success, I wish them well, but at the same time I feel regret, the insignificance of my existence compared to them , lowering your self-esteem ... And I think, maybe my current place of work is my calling, that this is the Will of God and you should not even look for something. Is this false humility or an excuse for your laziness? I don’t really like my work, the only pluses are that they provide housing, there is a temple nearby, which I often go to. Tell me how to be, please... Sincerely, Anna

Anna, envy is a sin that you need to repent of. But it is also not worth seeing in your circumstances only the Will of God, and not the result of your own actions. The will of God is providentially hidden from us. And since we do not know it, nothing fetters our freedom. Including looking for a job. At the same time, all hope in this search must be placed in the Lord. Pray St. Spyridon of Trimifuntsky and through his prayers and your faith, the Lord will give you the requested work.

I have a desire to open a store that will sell films and music, but I doubt if I would be doing it wrong. In the assortment offered to us there are many horror and other films containing unpleasant scenes (even the most harmless films). I suppose plots or fragments of songs can push buyers (even non-believers) into bad thoughts or convince a doubter to commit one or another bad action. What is the attitude of the Orthodox Church in this matter?

Hello Oleg! The field of activity you have chosen is indeed extremely difficult to be compatible with Orthodoxy. By selling films containing obscenity, violence, foul language, you will become an accomplice in the seduction of many people. At the same time, the modern reality is such that by excluding all this from the assortment, you doom your undertaking to a commercial failure. Therefore, in order not to sin and not go broke, invest your money in something less risky. For example, in the sale of audio and video equipment or radio components.

Sincerely, priest Mikhail Samokhin.

Hello. My question is: I work in a private hospital. Our owner, also a doctor, is a very hot-tempered person and does not respect his employees. Recently, he called the whole team and terribly yelled at us doctors and humiliated us in front of everyone (he often does this), then he called us to his place again, shouted, threw the medical history on the floor and drove everyone out of the office. We silently left, picking up the document from the floor. At heart, as always, it was hard for everyone. Tell me, please, what is the right way, in a Christian way, to behave in such situations? I silently prayed that God would forgive him, but I'm afraid it didn't turn out quite sincerely. Sincerely, Irina. Sorry for the embarrassing details.

It is very difficult to communicate with such unbalanced people, especially bosses, so there is no specific recipe or method here. If a sincere prayer for this person does not work out, pray anyway with the desire to forgive him, according to the commandment of Christ: "pray for those who offend you and persecute you" (Matt. 5, 44). During such scenes, it is also good to call on the name of Christ to yourself, reading, for example. Jesus Prayer. There is another recommendation of Christ: “If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him between you and him alone; if he listens, then you have gained your brother” (Matt. 18:15), but this applies primarily to fellow believers, members of the church community. In any case, you can, if you have inner boldness, do this with your boss, at least in private. Although this is not always effective, besides, one must be ready sometimes and suffer for such a denunciation...

God help you!

Sincerely, Priest Philip Parfenov

Hello, father. I have this question. Recently I had a very difficult relationship with an employee at work (it all started with the fact that I was promoted) before that I had a very good relationship. For my part, I was looking for ways of reconciliation, but nothing worked out, and I had very little strength left to endure. I don't feel any guilt. Health, work can suffer from internal stress, can I bring this issue to the management? Or should I leave? Please tell me.

Hello Olga!

I sympathize with you, the situation you are in is really difficult. It seems to me that you need to pray for an employee who offends you (perhaps she herself was expecting a promotion and therefore it is so difficult for her to endure your appointment), be polite and, if possible, friendly when communicating with her. If possible, communicate with her only on business matters. Whether it is worth bringing the issue to the management to determine better for you, it depends on many factors. Go to the temple, talk to the priest. It's easier to give more specific advice in person than over the Internet. Help you Lord!

Sincerely,

Hello, I would like to ask if it is bad that I am very attached to my computer, i.e. my work and studies are directly related to working on a computer, and when it was being repaired, I couldn’t find a place for myself. How to get rid of this habit?

Christ is Risen! Hello Julia!

Remember the words of the apostle Paul: "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is useful; everything is permitted to me, but nothing should control me." This can be applied to the computer as well. Of course, it is necessary for work, but if the absence of a computer causes irritation, a person "does not find a place for himself" - that this may already be a sign of some kind of dependence. Try to devote more time to communicating with people, reading, walking, playing sports - so that work with a computer is reduced to the necessary minimum.


Hello! At work, you often have to hear swear words, curses. How to protect yourself from this? After all, you won’t leave your workplace ... God bless you!

Hello Xenia!

Yes, unfortunately, profanity is very common now. What should you do if someone swears in front of you? If the situation permits, make a tactful (and possibly joking) remark to your colleagues. If not, then pray, read the Jesus Prayer to yourself, or, for example, "Virgin Mother of God, rejoice." So you will avoid the condemnation of those who speak foul language, and you will not listen to him too much, focusing on prayer.

Sincerely, Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

Please tell me, is it a sin to get a job through an acquaintance? And if I feel that in another type of activity I would be more in demand, is it better to change jobs or accept and work in my specialty? Thank you.

Hello, Elena!

Sincerely,

priest Alexander Ilyashenko

Hello! Over the past few months, I have experienced injustice at work. First, I was demoted due to a change in the staffing table and I lost my salary. The volume of work has not decreased. Then I had to finish the work of a colleague who, due to his negligence, did not complete the documents on time and people did not receive the money they earned. In addition, the boss, without understanding, blamed me for this oversight. And to top it all, all colleagues were thanked, but I alone was not. I did the job, but then I got sick ( headache, heart naughty) and all the time I want to cry. Going to work is disgusting. Obviously, my resentment is so strong. I pray the Lord to give me humility and patience. But still inside the com. I am trying to set myself up so that, thank God, there is work in general, but it is difficult. And it's all wrapped up in a post. I understand that this is a test of pride for me, because I have already begun to consider myself very competent and irreplaceable. What is the right way to pray in this situation? How to set yourself up correctly if you see the obvious injustice and incompetence of the boss, not only in relation to yourself? Thank you very much if you answer. Sincerely. Olga.

Hello Olga!

From the bottom of my heart I sympathize with you, indeed, it is very difficult to endure an unfair attitude towards yourself. No matter how unfairly they treat us, we cannot be offended, resentment is already our sin. There is an article on our website about how to overcome grievances, read it: http://www.pravmir.ru/article_1357.html

You need to pray for the boss, and for the Lord to give you the strength to forgive and repent of your offense. As for the injustice and incompetence of the boss, it all depends on the specific situation. In any case, it is necessary to pray for the boss and colleagues, and try to do this sincerely. It is best to talk about your behavior in a given situation in a personal conversation with a confessor (the priest to whom you confess).

Help you Lord!

Sincerely, Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

Hello dear father. I am 16 years old, I graduated from an Orthodox school, now I sing in the kliros. My parents sent me to a medical school, they want me to become a doctor. And I am in doubt. Can in modern world Orthodox person to be a doctor? If so, what specialty should I choose? Maria

Hello dear Maria!

Of course, an Orthodox person can be a doctor. Both the Apostle Luke and St. Luke Voyno-Yasenetsky, from whose textbook Essays on Purulent Surgery, doctors are still studying, were doctors. There is no need to hurry with the choice of a specialty - as far as I know, specialization in medical institutes begins only in the last courses. You need to understand what you have a greater disposition for, what is more interesting for you to do. My wife and one of my sons are pediatricians, and we have a cardiologist, an endocrinologist and other doctors in our parish. Help you Lord!

Sincerely, Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

How to overcome the hostility that constantly arises towards a person, and even to the boss at work? Thank you in advance.

Hello dear Elena!

First, you need to understand that hostility towards a person is a sin. It seems to me that you understand this, since you have the desire to overcome this sin. Secondly, to overcome hostility, like any sin, it is necessary to make great spiritual efforts. It is necessary to fervently repent of hostility at confession, to ask the Lord for strength to overcome this sin. I advise you to read the conversation about forgiveness of offenses, which was published on our website: http://www.pravmir.ru/article_1356.html

Help you Lord!

Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

Christ is Risen! How should an Orthodox girl dress if she decides to work in an office or a company? After all, now it is very important, even when applying for a job, they look at how you look. And I go in a headscarf, a long skirt, I don’t put on make-up, I look inconspicuous. And suddenly I was offered a job as a secretary. And I come to the interview in a headscarf ... I can't walk without a headscarf or some kind of headdress. But then it turns out that some jobs are closed to people like me. Indeed, a handkerchief is better suited for cleaners and dishwashers, and not for business women. Why wear a hat to work then? Just a handkerchief with a business suit somehow, it seems to me, does not look very good.

Christ is Risen! Hello Juliana!

There is a completely wrong opinion about how an Orthodox girl should dress. For some reason, it is believed that she should wear shapeless sweaters and sweaters (preferably dark colors), a long skirt to the ground, and always a scarf on her head. This is completely wrong. You need to dress cleanly, neatly, with taste. Clothes should not look catchy and defiant, but they can and should fit well and be beautiful. A business suit is also suitable for an Orthodox girl, as long as the skirt is not too short (at least below the knee). Such a suit, I think, can be found in a store, or, in extreme cases, sewn. As for the headscarf, according to the words of the Apostle Paul, a wife (that is, a married woman) should cover her head during prayer. This does not mean that an Orthodox girl should wear a headscarf all the time. You need to cover your head in the temple, and not at work.

http://www.pravmir.ru/article_1464.html

http://www.pravmir.ru/article_1406.html

Sincerely,

Priest Alexander Ilyashenko

Good afternoon. I have rather an everyday question, but it has been tormenting me for a long time. I don't like my job. I work as a chief accountant and sometimes the thought just slips through: was it really born in order to shift pieces of paper all day, collect mountains of waste paper and create nothing in this world. I look around - and behind me is a forest of spoiled trees, translated into paper. You can change, leave, retrain (at the very 2 higher education, the second - legal). Can. But, firstly, the fear of losing income (I want to give birth and raise children in favorable conditions), having gone to another business, I will have to start everything from scratch, and secondly, am I running away from the business that is destined for me? Maybe, doing a thankless (just for me) work, I should understand and comprehend something? I go to church, I go to confession, but I don’t dare to ask the priest - I don’t have my own confessor, and my question seems too “worldly”. Thanks for listening.

Elena!

God gives each of us talents and opportunities for their realization, but we often lack integrity to go our own way without scattering thoughts and deeds - hence doubts and regrets. To doubt is natural for a person, it is unnatural to rush about after one's doubts.

Sincerely
Priest Alexy Kolosov

http://www.pravmir.ru/article_2041.html

Number of entries: 75

Hello. Tell me, please, what kind of prayer should be read for success in business? My niece is trying very hard, and I would like God to help and notice her work. Thank you.

Elena

Elena! holy gospel teaches us to seek first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness, and everything else will be added (see Matt. 6:33). Teach your niece to go to church, confess, take communion, pray to God before every deed, live according to the commandments, do alms. Pray for her salvation. Then, if it is useful to her, everything will be fine in business. You can pray to any saint, for example, St. Spyridon Trimifuntsky.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello, father. I opened a grocery store, and the question arose in front of me: if I start selling liquor, is it a sin? Our Orthodox faith allows us to drink in moderation on the prescribed days, right? Or should I still not introduce alcoholic beverages into the trade? Please resolve my doubts. Thank you in advance. God bless you.

Anna

Anna, if this question worries your conscience, then it is best to ask for blessings from the priest, to whom you usually go to confession.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Bless! Thank you for a very useful site and this section. I try to read the questions and answers every day, because I get answers to many of my questions. I ask for your advice: I work in a municipal institution, recently they gave me a separate office; Is it possible to read the prayers for the consecration of the office yourself? The priest cannot be invited. Thanks for the answer.

Anna

Anna, only a priest can fully consecrate your office. If it is not possible to invite the priest, then you can hang an icon in your office and sprinkle it with baptismal water with the words: “In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen". No other prayers should be read.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello, father! I want to ask you how I should respond to the behavior of my employee. She told me that when she sees me, she wants to sing the song "Natalie, I'll buy you land in the cemetery." She is just a collaborator for me. I feel very uncomfortable.

Natalia

Dear Natalia, I sympathize with you, such "simplicity" is shocking. But it will be good if she remains just an employee for you. Reciprocal injections will only exacerbate the confrontation. Instead, pray for the Lord to strengthen you, so that resentment does not gnaw at your soul, so that He will help you calmly perceive such hairpins. Praying for the one who offended, so that God would forgive her attack, would be Christian. If you go to confession, mention this offense. And everything will pass. May God help you!

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Hello, father! I have a very difficult situation in my life. I live with my son, he is still studying. Three years ago my husband left for another family. AT recent times stopped helping his son, and almost does not communicate with him. It became very difficult for us. The company I work for is going to be closed, it is very difficult to find a job here, especially without help. I want to get a job with children, it takes a very long time to get a certificate for work (from the police for work in children's institutions), I have almost found a place, so I'm sitting here, I'm worried. I really want to work with the kids, I'm afraid to be left without a place while the certificate is being made. I would like to ask for your prayer help, if possible. I myself also ask God for help every day, only in Him is all hope. Thank you.

Julia

God help you Julia! Let's pray for you. It’s good that you put all your hope on the Lord, ask for His help, don’t forget about the words that He taught us to pray: “Thy will be done ...” If we forget about them, we can overlook the mercy that He will give, because our voluntarily limited their space - I want that's it! The Lord certainly has something for you and will send it to you. God bless you!

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Hello, I am renting a store, but the contract says that the store is rented free of charge, although the person pays me money. Should the contract be rewritten?

Sergey

Hello Sergey. Do as your conscience tells you. Either pay rent or don't take the money. Help God.

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Good health, fathers. I agreed with one person after work to go to church for the evening service in order to confess before communion. Five minutes before the end of the shift, they called from the production site and were told to stay in order to develop the technology for them. I replied that the working day was over and they were already waiting for me, I left. In confession, I told this story. But the confusion remains. Have I sinned? Thanks for the answer.

margarita

Margarita, it all depends on how much your help was needed. It's one thing if an employer often abuses his position and forces employees to stay late after work. And it’s quite another if we really couldn’t do without your help at that moment. I think, to calm my conscience, I need to explain myself to my colleagues.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Good afternoon. I work in a senior position in the legal department of a very large alcohol company. I try to fulfill my duties conscientiously. The question is, is it not a sin to work for a company that produces and sells vodka, wine, etc. in large quantities?

Igor

Formally, there is no sin, because it is not you who make the drunkard sink deeper and deeper into dependence. Whatever people can use for sin, what should all manufacturers do now? But if this question continues to torment you, you still have the opportunity to change jobs. May God keep you.

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Hello, father! Please help me to solve this problem. I have 2 children, 4.5 and 2.5 years old. In the spring, my son turns 3 years old, and I will need to go to work. But during the decree, I got used to family life so much, even despite its difficulties. I can’t imagine myself at work, I can’t imagine that grandmothers and educators will take care of my children. I am a mother and wife, I know and love these roles with all my heart! After all, God will ask me for children, and not from grandmothers! And I would sit at home, but my husband is convinced that I should work for the sake of seniority and pension. I can't convince him that my children are dearer to me. And I’m not always going to sit at home, but until the children go to school. Financial situation allows me not to work yet. We are in abundance. We can’t give birth to a third yet, we don’t have our own housing, my husband is a military man, we travel from place to place. But I would still give birth, but my husband does not want more children yet. Father, sorry for the verbosity, but your opinion is very important to me. Am I right in my position that work can wait, and the children need me now? Should I insist on my own, or go to work for the sake of obedience to my husband, and then God himself will manage everything? Save you Lord!

Tatiana

Dear Tatiana! Is it not the happiness and destiny of a wife to be the guardian of the house and the educator of children? Moreover, everything is fine with your finances, thank God. No one will raise your children better than you yourself. And in our country, a pension is such an illusory reality ... For example, I can’t believe that when the time comes to receive a pension, what you have earned will be returned to you. It is better to invest your strength, time, youth and health in children, and with proper upbringing, they will provide you with prosperity in old age. Yes, and the Lord will not leave the one who put all his strength to raise his children in faith and piety. So try to talk to your spouse again and convince him that you are more needed by the children, and not by the state. God bless you!

Archpriest Andrey Efanov

Hello dear fathers. I would like to contact Father Maxim. I found a lot of useful, intelligible advice written in a living language from you. Advise me how to act in such seemingly mundane situations as children's tantrums. I work as a nanny for one family in the USA. Here children are brought up differently than in our country. EVERYTHING IS ALLOWED HERE! Children don't know the word "no". I am a believer, Orthodox, and I know that it is always necessary to keep peace of mind, not to get angry, but lately I am not just tired of constant tantrums, but I feel some kind of emptiness, even despondency. And today I could not stand it, I burst out, I even raised my voice to the child, I was angry. I cry, I repent, but I understand that I need to be patient, in six months, if God wills, I want to go home. Therefore, there is no point in talking about a change of work here. Please advise how an Orthodox Christian should show restraint in moments of children's tantrums? Where and what can be read on this topic? I confess that I was ashamed later in front of a 3-year-old child, for being angry, ashamed before God. I joined the church 2.5 years ago, I regularly participate in the sacraments, it seemed that my spiritual life was peaceful and quiet, and suddenly - anger, irritation ... and I really want to please God, to be meek, humble. But when children have terrible tantrums, I can’t stand it. And what are the tantrums of American children - this must be seen. Help advice, father. Save you Lord.

Valentine

Yes, Valentina, I saw the tantrums of American children (I lived in the USA for a month with friends), my parishioners in this country worked in the same vacancies as you. I think you know that in the States it is not safe to show irritation towards offspring, especially someone else's. Anything can be blamed. Once you decide to return, you just have to endure and pray. Pray for the child too. The peace of mind, I think, is very difficult to preserve here - everything is not ours, everything will unbalance one way or another. It remains only to endure. Read Abba Dorotheus about patience. There is such a story: adversity drove the monk from his cell, from the monastery, but every day he began with the fact that he would still endure and "leave tomorrow." That "tomorrow" never came. Well, if you manage to finish business in the USA by a certain time. And if not, then live by this principle.

Archpriest Maxim Khyzhiy

Hello, father. I had a confusion in the concept of the Providence of God. I read somewhere a long time ago that our life is made up of our will and the will of God (this is because we often act willfully, and the Lord does not force it). I'm having trouble finding work. I’ll make a reservation right away, I go to church, I confess, I take communion, I pray for work. The first time before finding a job, I spent 1.5 years at home. I worked for 9 months, and now I'm looking for a job again for the 4th month. How to understand if I am doing the right thing when I refuse an employer if I am very unhappy with the conditions (for example, a job that I have not done before, another city, a very small salary, of which more than half must be paid for housing, again in another city, and other). There are no jobs in my area of ​​expertise. Not in the specialty - it didn’t work out, then the employer didn’t come, then some other misfortunes. What if I engage in self-will and reject the will of God? Or does everything happen exactly as it was given by God, and there is no need to worry about this? Mine will not pass me by? All this is depressing. It alarms me that in a moment of despair I frantically pray for work, but the work options that follow this do not cause any desire to agree, on the contrary, they grumble and disgust. Maybe it's pride? But I tried to get a job at unpretentious places, however, which I chose myself, it didn’t work out. What should I do next? Sacrifice everything and get a job where you have to, stepping on your throat or waiting for the work to be to your heart's content? Thank you.

Marina

Hello Marina. Look for a good job. There is nothing shameful in this. You can earn a little money if the funds are scarce, but still look for where you can apply your knowledge with benefit and satisfaction. As for prayers for work, it is better to leave it all. God knows what you need. It doesn't matter to Him what you pray for, but how you pray. Your desire to find a job began to turn into a kind of passion, replacing the purpose and meaning of life. And God does not fulfill those petitions that are dictated by passion. You can also pray about work, but restrainedly, without torment: Lord, You know what I need, before my petition to You. If possible, fulfill my request for a good and beloved work. But let not my will, but Yours be done. Do not impute my unreasonable prayer to me as a sin, and have mercy on me.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Father, bless! Help me figure out how to proceed, how to proceed? Me and my boyfriend Eugene met a year and a half ago. We are both Orthodox and there can be no talk of any close relationships before marriage. We want to get married, but the only problem is that the young man does not work. When we met, for half a year, since he came from the army, he was going to get a job in the FSB, passed tests, so a year passed. When he was refused, he got upset, tried to find a job, only going to an interview five times, and that's it! Then the promises of relatives began to arrange it in one place, then in another, he expects every time. When they begin to tell him that he needs to look for a job, he calls somewhere or two times and says that he is looking, but after that everything stops right there, and he perceives any words about work as pressure in his direction or that they put conditions on him. At the same time, he himself says that he really wants to work and just dreams about it, but really does nothing, sleeps until lunch, in the first place any business, either to help relatives, or something else, but he is not looking for a job, after all, he will find many excuses , noble deeds, to explain their inaction! If he is looking for a big salary, if it is small, then this does not suit him, he says that if he goes for such a salary, then he will not find it better later. What am I supposed to do? I understand that this can go on indefinitely, he lives with his mother, his father lives with another family, but he gives him some money, so it turns out: he has where to sleep and eat, but we are already under 30 years old, because you need to create a family, and I'm afraid that such a relationship will develop from love into a habit. And I understand him, most likely, it is already psychologically difficult for him to turn this situation around, after all, he has not been working for more than two years. What should I do, how to change this situation, I'm getting desperate. Help, please, father!

Elena

I'm afraid, Lena, that I'll upset you: I don't believe in deep changes of lazy people... This will most likely continue indefinitely. Parents will not help, a wife, a cohabitant, anyone will drag on themselves ... If you agree to this, then this is your choice. But I know only sad examples of such an attitude to life. And you won't last long. Such relationships are a "black hole" - the best years of life will be taken away and nothing will be brought. Perhaps if you set a condition for him and say that you will leave him alone with his problems, then he will begin to stir. But we need to see how long it will continue - its movement and what results will be. On the site in the heading "My fortress" there is an article "Additional child". I highly recommend reading.

Archpriest Maxim Khyzhiy

Father, hello! Tell me what to do, I am now working at a good job in all respects, but I have now been offered another job with a higher position, but a lower salary! How to proceed? I work now in a bank, and they invite me to the administration. From what to me to proceed, how to make a choice?

Bogdan

Hello Bogdan! Any business must begin with prayer and blessing. Come to the temple, order a prayer service to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker and pray for enlightenment. You need to start choosing a job from where you will bring the most benefit. Help you Lord!

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello! Please tell me if I did the right thing. In early November, I got a job at a bank as a lawyer, on the second day the deputy director told me that I should be her right hand and report on what is being done in the department. I didn't do it. After two weeks of work, this deputy director accused me of unprofessionalism (with a legal experience of 8 years) and asked me to write a letter of resignation. When I wrote a statement the next day, she apologized and said that she had changed her mind, while calling my head of the department and blaming her for my dismissal. Then she tore up my application, but I wrote another one, and she got angry with me, because it threatens her with dismissal. The only thing that saved me when working between "two fires" was the reading of Psalm 90 and the Psalter. But I quit, despite all the persuasion from management to stay and survive, having worked for only three weeks. Maybe I'm wrong, because I have a wife and two kids, and I left a well-paid position? it turns out that God gave me a test that I could not bear? On the other hand, I am 34 years old, and almost throughout my life I tried not to change my word and never faithfully looked people in the eye, no matter if they offered me money or other benefits. I ask for advice, father.

Evgeniy

Eugene, they left - and they left, there is no need to look back. Otherwise, you will begin to regret something, to think that it could be different. The situation you had there was really nasty, and so turn it around - it's bad, and it's even worse. Let's be more courageous: we closed the door - period. We won't regret it! And the Lord will help you, will not leave you for honesty and straightforwardness.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

In the sweat of your face you will eat breadGod said to Adam (Gen. 3 , 19). The gates of paradise were closed, and from that moment the fallen man must work in order to live. Work, that is, labor activity for the sake of a piece of bread, as well as for the realization of personal abilities, and finally, for the good of society and the country, is a huge and practically integral part of the life of most of our Orthodox parishioners. But how different is it!

Not every one of us can say that he likes the work he is doing, that he has found himself in it and would not want any other place under the sun for himself. Not every job is interesting, not everyone can get what is commonly called moral satisfaction. But is it possible to consider the hours spent at work as dead time, deleted from real, living life? Perhaps there are too many of them for this - working hours; they make up too much of the time allotted to us on earth. They are also our life - hours spent on "uninteresting", boring, joyless work; therefore, they should serve our spiritual training, growth, and soul salvation. But how can this be achieved?

Suppose something is achieved: the working day, which seemed spiritually meaningless, acquires meaning. However, if a person is not deprived of abilities - and in fact, none of us are deprived of abilities, one or another, - he inevitably faces the problem of their implementation, in other words, the demand for his talents and knowledge by society. Sometimes this problem becomes a tragedy: a person either blames others for his lack of fulfillment - relatives, associates, colleagues, bosses, "this country" - or falls into fruitless self-flagellation: I'm bad, I'm weak, I'm no good. Another, "positive" extreme - a person works and grows, he is confident enough in himself and wants to take place; but forgets that success - whether in art, in science, in public service - is still not an end in itself, it is good only when it serves something higher and enduring; and selfish careerism is also a road to a dead end, although this is not immediately and not universally recognized.

It also happens like this: a person is not selfish, he wants and can do good and he has the opportunity to work - a lot, interestingly, creatively, helping people, even saving them. At the same time, there are problems and sorrows, of course - without them there is no life in this world - but at least no one blocked the oxygen: work hard, bear fruit. And a person suddenly realizes that he does not want to work; that he had lost interest in the case; that he no longer feels sorry for the people who need him, and no fruits please him. Why? Overtired? He takes a vacation, rests, but, returning to work, he is convinced: it has not gone anywhere ... What is the reason? By the way, about fatigue, fatigue: what to do with it? Is it just a psychological problem or a spiritual one too?

Perhaps the most painful of the problems that we intend to discuss is the conformity of everything that has to be done at work to Christian beliefs. We are not talking now about criminal "professions", of course, about obviously illegal activities; but that is the misfortune of our life, that the boundaries are blurred, the pegs are knocked down, the very concept of honesty is humiliated, ridiculed, perceived as a kind of foolishness. What should a university teacher do who is forced to give credit after credit to a young man who is not even familiar with the basics of the subject being taught, just because he is the son of the main sponsor of ostentatious university events? And the journalist from whom they demand - urgently in the room! - an interview with the parents of a girl who had just been killed by a maniac? What about an investigator who is ordered to compose an absolutely illegal decision to dismiss a criminal case?.. Not every person will find the strength to say “no”, risking (or even directly sacrificing) a job, career, professional future ... the opportunity to feed their children, eventually. And not everyone will simply take moral responsibility for these actions, many will reassure themselves with the formula: “What am I, I am a bonded person.” But it will hardly be possible to repeat this at the Last Judgment...

Another situation: a person earns his own bread, while seemingly not bringing any harm to anyone. He simply entertains people who want to have fun, occupies those who, it turns out, have nothing to occupy their minds with. He does it well, with invention, or, as they say today, creatively. Well, what is it, it would seem? Demand created supply, that's all. But where does it come from in a person - not in everyone, of course, but in someone who turned his soul to God, felt in himself a Christian conscience and what is called a spirit - constant pain, discomfort, a sense of shame, split, and sometimes simply spiritual ruin, destruction? However, this can be associated with many types of activities... In what cases does a priest advise a parishioner to change jobs? What kind of work can be called mentally harmful?

There are professions to which the high word "service" is easily applied. The profession of a doctor, say, a teacher, a warrior, who, by definition, does not work, but serves; ideally - a policeman, prosecutor, judge; and a priest, of course, if we are not afraid to apply the word "profession" to a priest too. Well, if a person works as some kind of accountant in a private company, a cashier in a store, a waiter in a cafe - what kind of service is there ... Or does any job become a ministry for a Christian? If yes, how?

We will try to talk about all this.

Not for fear, but for conscience

About the problems that a parishioner may have, Orthodox Christian in connection with his work, about how labor activity is combined with spiritual life, we talk with Archpriest Sergius Ksenofontov, a cleric of the Holy Spirit Cathedral in Saratov.

Father Sergius, do you have to deal with such situations when work is a spiritual problem for a parishioner?

Problems in connection with the work of the parishioners arise, this is inevitable. Our labor activity falls precisely at that age, at that time in life, when we are maximally ready for spiritual development. We have come out of childhood and youth, entered the era of maturity. And the end of our labor activity precedes old age, the end of our life path. Old age is the end of life, its evaluation, the time of wisdom ... or the time of disappointment. Old age will check what we have managed to earn, save for ourselves in our lifetime and what kind of “pension” (in the spiritual sense) we will now receive from this.

Thus, working age is the very time that the master gave his slaves to increase their talents (see: Matt. 25 , 14-30), which means that it should become a time of intense spiritual life. But it is precisely at this time that tension is also required from us in labor. And these two demands on us, these two tensions often come into conflict - this is where our problems begin. It's hard for us, we get tired. Creating the material basis of our life, we do not have time to comprehend it spiritually, to think about what is right in our work activity and what is not. When we stop, we escape for a minute from the bustle of work - we try to comprehend: here, I work, I do what is necessary for my loved ones, for my family, but where is my spiritual life? It's like she doesn't exist. We have to admit that we give most of our lives to the race and fuss. At best, we are trying to cut off some part of this life and give it exclusively to spiritual development. But then the question arises: what about the rest of our time, is it spiritless? Is it spiritually dead?

- After all, it is impossible to believe in God from seven in the evening until eight in the morning, and the rest of the time to live as if He does not exist ...

Impossible, but the other person is unconsciously trying to do just that. He tries to live a spiritual life, prays, goes to church, but, not loving his work, perceives it as an alien part of his life, as spiritually dead time. He is only waiting for the working day to end and it will be possible to turn again to spiritual subjects. When we try to live like this, Satan laughs at us. He steals our time - hours spent at work. He doesn’t even steal - we give them to him ourselves, because he can’t take anything from us if we don’t give it to him ourselves.

What's happening? The time of a person's life, the time given to him by God, is not spiritualized, and a person suffocates in this time. And that part of his life that he tries to devote to spiritual things does not become complete, because it is a chain with missing links. We may have worked on ourselves spiritually, connecting link by link, but now it's time to go to work - and we voluntarily or involuntarily break the chain. At work, we allow ourselves to behave internally in ways that we would not otherwise allow. We split into two: I'm at work - this is one thing, I'm in the temple - quite another. Bifurcation leads to hypocrisy, which, in fact, is a false link in the very open chain of our spiritual life. A person, as it were, says to himself: well, I can be both this and that. And where there is a split, there Satan will certainly irritate that side, that half of a person that is available to him. And this half will absorb, eat up the other half, the one that we are trying to leave, to keep spiritual. And sooner or later, our weakness will deplete the strength that we have managed to accumulate. Because you cannot serve two masters (cf. Matt. 6 , 24).

I'm afraid that in my life there was a period of such a split - although not in the worst against the background of other scenarios: as a journalist, at least I never sold myself, did not write lies for money, this is already good. But I remember what difficult moments it was - when, after a working day, you find yourself in front of your home icons ... And you understand that there, at work - one thing, here, in front of the eyes of the Savior and the Mother of God - another, but where am I myself? Where do I live - both there and there? This is a constant embarrassment, reaching a feeling of some kind of absurdity, the absurdity of one's own life.

It's a constant shame. Do you know why sometimes people who meet every day at work try not to meet at the temple? They even change the parish - only because someone else from their work goes to this temple. Because there, at work, they are different! And the fact that they go to church at work is subconsciously perceived by them as some kind of shameful act. And here, in the church, you are ashamed, because a person has come who knows you differently. He who tries to serve two masters is ashamed before both!

- What needs to be done to working time was not dead and that there was no duality, hypocrisy?

It is important to realize what is important and what is not important, to prioritize. As the Lord said: where your treasure is, there your heart will be also(Mt. 6 , 21). Where is our treasure, which is the purpose of our whole life? If a person sees his goal in the Kingdom of God, then he knows where to go. And he begins to slowly, like a sculptor, cut off the excess. Extra fuss, extra concern, tension, fear of not being able to do it in time and not coping, etc. This does not mean at all that you do not need to be diligent at work, on the contrary. Diligence in everyday affairs, even small ones, can and should be mixed with a spiritual understanding of benefit. And the benefit for the soul can only be when you sacrificially serve your neighbor and through him - God. Our working time can be spiritualized, first of all, by sacrifice.

- Fatigue, exhausted by work - she still doesn’t talk about sacrifice, does she?

Sometimes it happens that a person cannot realize whether he is acting sacrificially or not, he is so tormented by fuss. Then the work turns into a continuous burden. And he no longer sees any point in it. But when a person is faithful, believing, churched, when he has some kind of spiritual experience, some kind of prayer practice - then the question of the meaning of work, whether there is sacrifice in it, whether it is service to others, is not arises. And if it arises, the believer can always find the answer in his personal spiritual life. And in the lives of others who have already gone down this path. And the saints, whose experience will be reflected, will find some response in his personal experience, and he will understand: thoughts of meaninglessness are a temptation; work is not senseless exhaustion, but a feat to which God called him.

- But is there “a place for a feat” in any work?

There is a place for sacrifice, a place for serving God, wherever a person works, even if he sits in a closed office and does not see people at all, only documents for obtaining loans, for example. A clear understanding that the fate of people depends on these loans, the awareness of one's responsibility - this is a feat and sacrificial service.

I believe that a Christian in any job must be conscientious, responsible, honest, and comply with the agreements between him and the employer. It must be a moral, spiritual necessity. So?

There is a saying: not for fear, but for conscience. In Russia, the relationship between the owner and the worker has long been built not only on a contractual basis, but also on the basis of conscience. One of the signs that you serve sacrificially, with forgiveness and conscience, awareness of duty, even if your work is tedious, hard, uncreative, is that you have a personal relationship with your employer-employer and with your workmates. We see this in the lives of Russian saints: the holy righteous John the Russian, being in slavery, in cruel captivity, with his conscientious and diligent work makes the owner change his attitude towards him, see him as a person, and not just a slave, imbued with respect for yesterday's slave.

In Russia, it was customary for the owner or, say, the boss to devote his name day to his subordinates: set the table for them, give them gifts - not they to him, mind you, but he to them. It was a kind of nepotism, traditional, characteristic of the Russian consciousness, going beyond the walls of the house and spreading to the whole state: the tsar is the father, we are all his children, his name day (name day) is a national holiday. And nepotism is one of the highest manifestations of the sacrifice that we are talking about: in a family, a person cannot live only for himself. A family, by definition, is a community of people living for each other.

Suffice it to recall such a well-known philanthropist and philanthropist as Savva Morozov: his attitude towards the workers was truly Christian and paternal. After all, he organized for them the insurance system, preferential loans, and everything that we now call social guarantees. He did not profit from this. But, oddly enough, such is the Christian conduct of business - it is beneficial in the end.

Today they are trying to replace this with surrogates - corporate parties, planting the so-called corporate spirit, involving all kinds of psychologists with trainings and role-playing games to create this spirit ... But behind all this there is no sacrifice, no service. All this is not based on love, but on an artificial overstrain of certain qualities and abilities of a person: for example, the ability to communicate benevolently. And it is built not with spiritual goals, but with material ones: the income of each depends on the income of the company, the income of the company on the income of each, so let's support each other.

But a person is not as simple as today's business would like. He is not a machine. He is a spiritual being who is actually called to a great cause: drawing closer to God, deification, salvation for eternal life. Being in the conditions of commercialization, a person still remains a spiritual being. Sooner or later, this contradiction will escalate and manifest itself. Violence against him as a spiritual being will bring bitter, and sometime terrible results. Why do people today often commit the most cruel crimes in collectives, where they worked or studied? Why do they kill those who worked next to them, those with whom they moved glasses at corporate parties, with whom they greeted in the morning with emphatically friendly? First it was in the West, then it came to us. And, mind you, while our service relations were not built on profit, on commerce, this was not the case. As soon as we began to switch to the worst version of capitalist relations, this began. This means that there is a system, and the result of this system is an unspiritual overstrain, which leads to breakdowns. Unspiritual overexertion means activity completely cut off from the life of the spirit. Our work must be spiritual.

I thought now for some reason about the cashier in the self-service store. From a worldly point of view - not the most interesting and prestigious work. And with the spiritual - what opportunities! Every day there are thousands of people, and with everyone you can be either sincerely friendly and warm, or like the cashier in one store I know: she was obliged to say to every customer “Thank you for the purchase”, but she says it - through clenched teeth, so that buyers are scared.

The emotionality of a person cannot be divorced from the spiritual component of his life. If a cashier, a salesman, a hairdresser, a bank employee are involuntarily friendly, only because the authorities have obliged them to utter polite words, this is clearly different from sincere friendliness and goodwill towards people. When a person’s soul is empty, and they demand that he take something warm and heartfelt from there… as my favorite seminarians say, you can’t take it where you haven’t put it.

So, work is our Christian achievement, the continuation of our spiritual life. And sometimes it is mentally harmful, even destructive for inner man? Does a priest sometimes advise a parishioner to change jobs?

It happens. How to define it? What is harmful to a person is what is harmful to his soul, what opposes its salvation. Let us turn to the experience of Christian states, including pre-revolutionary Russia: laws, however imperfect, must take into account Christian commandments. Although everyone understands that it is impossible to convey the heavenly law by earthly means, one can only somehow approach it. But nevertheless, the laws were in effect, and this meant that serving the state allows a person to remain a Christian. The state, as it were, guaranteed that it would not have to act in a non-Christian way, that it would not be required of it. And today, many laws contradict the commandments. And from the laws come social norms, social customs, and interpersonal relationships. Therefore, the corporate spirit that has developed in the team may not be Christian at all. And then we must remember the words of the Savior: What is the use of a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?(Mt. 16 , 26).

But here, too, a mistake awaits us: we begin to explain and justify our own weaknesses with work. And we do not see that we do not need to change our work, but try to change ourselves. For example, a person says: “My work is mentally harmful, because I am always depressed.” But the cause of despondency is not work, but ourselves. Or: “I can’t work there, because they don’t let me fast, New Year certainly a corporate party, in Great Lent the boss has a birthday. Therefore, it is not a Christian work.” But this is not a non-Christian job, and a person himself is not very good with Christianity if he is not able to refuse a corporate party in the post; if philanthropy, or perhaps cowardice, does not allow him to calmly explain to his boss his refusal to eat.

And it is a completely different matter if an employee is required to remove the cross - from some kind of “tolerance standards”. Here we simply do not have the right to obey and stay at work in this way.

If a person leads an attentive and constant spiritual life, there is no problem for him to determine: where are Christian norms, and where are non-Christian ones, and whether his work actually requires him to transgress the gospel commandments. Let me emphasize that this life should be constant, stable. This stability begins with daily morning and evening prayers, with regular visits to the temple, participation in the Sacraments. All this gives rise to the constancy of our relationship with God.

As for the advice to change jobs - I only once advised (I advised, because the freedom of choice should remain with the person) to one parishioner. I saw the tension build up in her in connection with her work. And she worked as a cleaner in the sauna. Everyone knows that our saunas serve - by no means to health ... While she was just cleaning there, it was still nothing, but then they began to demand from her, in fact, complicity in all the lawlessness that was happening there: she had to give something, bring … and she immediately felt the incompatibility of this work with the spiritual life. As an honest person, she could not be hypocritical. She tried, but even a fraction of this poison of hypocrisy drove her to despair. It was a real spiritual illness. But when she changed jobs, things got better.

Father Sergius, what if the worker is forced to commit petty or major dishonesty, deceit, lies? There are a lot of examples - from school life, from university life, from the life of various power structures, etc. What to do if the authorities once again require you to write a beautiful report, ensure high rate, to make sure that that girl over there will certainly receive a medal, and that boy over there will certainly enter the university, even if he makes two mistakes in the word “mother”? To give to Caesar what is Caesar's, that is, to follow the instructions and not take responsibility, or still try to refuse?

A single categorical answer cannot be given here. Each person has his own life situation, his own ability to endure trials, in a word, his own measure. Let's start with the fact that participation in dishonest deeds, in a lie, even if it is petty and, it would seem, forgivable, must be spoken at confession. Why? Because a lie in any case is an infection, like the flu: if it has settled in a person, he will get sick. If you let the disease take its course, it will progress. What does confession give? In the light of God's grace, sin is highlighted. We see him. We gain spiritual experience, including the bitter experience of living with sin. To forgive sin to oneself (“Well, what can I do if the authorities demand it?”) means to deprive oneself of God's forgiveness. And then Satan will get his share in us. This is his area - the “dark yati”, that is, the area where he takes. If we confessed our own - our own, not the boss! - sin, so we see the problem and can solve it. The first step in resolving the problem is not to perceive the situation of one’s own sin as the norm, which is very typical for us: “Yes, what is my sin here, now they do it everywhere, it’s normal now.” Numerous conversations with people who find themselves in such situations show that the way out of them is found by those people who do not look for excuses for themselves, do not accept their participation in sin as the norm, confess it precisely as their personal sin. God Himself helps such people, suggesting a solution, and at one time harassing a person “from the work of Egypt”, providing him with another field of activity.

Ideal work is also the realization of a person's creative abilities. How to live if the work does not match the creative potential? If education, knowledge, talent remain unclaimed? In late Soviet times, many talented people swept yards, dug graves in cemeteries, worked in stokers, etc. Someone survived this and then became big man. And someone jumped out of the balcony or choked on vodka there, in these cemeteries, because this is actually a tragedy. Now the situation is different, but the problem has not gone anywhere, it turns out.

Talent as the ability to create was given to a person by the Creator, and it is really a disaster if a person with his talents is not in demand and all he has to do is bury them in the ground. The entire history of mankind shows that this problem has always existed. A person realizes that he is capable of more, but, for objective reasons, he is forced to “know his hearth”. However, there are also many pitfalls here. This “I am capable of more” of ours may be true, or it may be a temptation. For example, a person, out of his vanity and pride, can exaggerate his abilities. It seems to him that a brilliant writer is dying in him, but in fact this writer has never lived in him. Or - a person simply does not realize his unpreparedness for the "leading parties", does not understand that he still needs to be patient, sit where he sits, grow up.

Nothing in our life happens without the will of God. And if we suddenly find ourselves deprived of the opportunity to create, we need to recall the story of John of Damascus, who was a wonderful spiritual poet - the Church still uses the fruits of his inspiration - and to whom his confessor in the Lavra of Sava the Sanctified in the Holy Land forbade writing poetry. But then this ban was lifted and his talent shone even brighter - after John, firstly, with humility accepted a very painful deprivation for him, and secondly, when, having violated the ban solely for the sake of his neighbor, he suffered with the same humility and punishment for it. The deprivation of the opportunity to create is sometimes a sharp cutter of humility, cutting off the excess pride that has stuck to our talent.

But the main thing is to ask yourself the question in time: what exactly do I want? And try to answer it honestly. If vanity or avarice is at the forefront, then the person is clearly mistaken. No matter how much he changes his “sixes”, he will always lack something. Because vanity and greed are chasms that will never be filled. And it's a completely different matter - if a person is looking for better way serve God and others. Then the Lord Himself will eventually lead him out into the open, give him all the necessary opportunities.

Journal "Orthodoxy and Modernity" No. 30 (46)