When a person has grief, when they stand in front of him serious problems or he is unwell, he is ill. However, the question "Why do I feel so bad?" often asked by people who do not understand the reasons for their condition, who have heartache and discomfort arise for unknown reasons.

Psychological crisis

Psychological crisis is one of common causes mental discomfort. What yesterday pleased a person, today seems dull and boring to him, he acutely feels the meaninglessness of everything that happens, he is annoyed even by the closest people, he wants some changes, but there is no strength to change anything.

A psychological crisis is a natural state of a person, and overcoming it allows you to rise to a qualitatively different level of your development, the main thing is to understand “why I feel so bad”, recognize my internal problems and find ways to solve them.

Depression

Like a psychological crisis, depression can develop against the background of external well-being or even success. It would seem that a person has a good family, a prestigious job, true friends. And he does not feel the joy of life.

Depression can develop against the background of psychological problems, for example, in cases where a person has not managed to safely get out of the crisis. It is also not uncommon for depression to be caused by physiological reasons. For example, in case of metabolic disorders, the hormone of joy, serotonin, can be produced in insufficient quantities, a person becomes discouraged, and he himself cannot understand “why I always feel bad.”

Depression is a serious disease, it is against its background that suicidal thoughts appear, therefore, with signs of depression, it is worth contacting specialists.

I feel bad because I feel better

In psychology, there is the concept of "secondary benefit". It characterizes the phenomenon when a person receives some benefit from his ailments. So, for example, phobias often allow people to enjoy the increased attention of others, and if the disease passes, then they automatically lose this attention.

A similar phenomenon is often observed in people who feel bad all the time. People who ask themselves the question “Why do I always feel bad?” Often really suffer, but subconsciously they themselves are looking for a reason to suffer. They often get into unpleasant situations, they are surrounded by unpleasant people, they are often cheated in stores, etc.

This type of behavior is often chosen to fill an inner void. Suffering is an event, albeit a negative one, but at least the suffering person feels alive.

Sometimes suffering is a subconscious device for attracting attention to oneself, obtaining some benefits, etc. In this case, a person is afraid that if he does not suffer, he will simply become uninteresting to those people who surround him and support him in his misfortunes.

What to do if you feel bad

Try to analyze the causes of your condition, understand your thoughts and feelings. Try to understand if there are really reasons that you feel bad, or are these emotions and feelings due to your negative thoughts?

Find an opportunity to tell someone how you feel. If you do not have a person to whom you could fully open up, do it anonymously, for example, on the Internet resource www.mneploho.ru.

And learn to notice the good in your life. The world is dual - every event has two sides, and all our problems allow us to gain new experience, become stronger and more mature.

Do you often feel bad - do you have autumn / spring depressions, PMS, just a bad mood? Do you have a habit of whining, complaining, judging, getting annoyed, crying? What about diseases? If you at least sometimes feel sorry for yourself, cry or say a sacramental phrase: I feel bad then this article is for you.

People who constantly everything is bad, in fact the majority. It becomes more noticeable in terminal stage- when the old woman, apart from complaints and condemnation, does not say anything at all. And if you look at the content of our usual communication with colleagues, friends, relatives? Sometimes it seems that, apart from negativity and complaints, we have nothing else to talk about.

We discuss diseases: “Yesterday I cut my finger, now it hurts”, “I have a headache today - I probably didn’t get enough sleep”, “My child has problems with speech, development, sleep, behavior, study (underline as necessary)” . We complain about life: “How prices are rising, and salaries are not enough for anything, but I would like to ... And you too? Worse? Poor"! We can’t even talk about the weather otherwise than negatively: “How hot - horror!”, “How quickly winter came - and there was no summer ...”, “The snow melted again - you can’t pass or drive.”

And then there is Ukraine and new laws, a drop in the level of education and they came in large numbers, they built it, the neighbor again parked inconveniently and the boss is a tyrant, ecology, epidemics and the moral decay of society. Horror-horror! Where is the world heading! Who is bigger? Are you aware of a problem that I don't know about? Very interesting - tell me!

In intimate conversations with a close friend, we reveal to her the most intimate: “My husband drinks, mediocrity in bed, does not understand at all ...”, “The mood is completely to hell - I’m so tired of smiling and being strong, I’m so tired, I’m so cold and lonely and There is no point in life at all." And a friend complains in response, and you feel sorry for each other, which creates the illusion of understanding and intimacy.

Even our proud statuses in social networks: “I am strong, I will endure everything with a smile” are not without bitterness, because why be strong and prove to the whole world that you will endure everything if there is nothing to endure? Why this infernal mixture of self-pity, despair and pride?

Why am I, exactly? Maybe I'm playing the game too how bad everything is? :) I promised to write about how to love yourself and what to do for . So, whining and self-pity is an insurmountable obstacle to personal development and is incompatible with self-love. And getting rid of this habit is the first step towards a normal life and a mature personality.

What is the reason for this trouble, why do we feel bad, everything is bad with us, and we whine and complain? If a person so diligently collects problems and looks for them everywhere and always, then for some reason he probably needs this? It would seem that a person is looking for where it is better, and constantly says that he would like the best. However, if you just tell him: “Stop whining, feel sorry for yourself and look for negativity everywhere”, it turns out that it’s not easy for him to do this, for some reason he really likes this position of eternal sacrifice ...

Why do we whine and complain?

We like to whine and complain and need things to be bad.

The negative outlook on life is so tenacious that there is a suspicion that it covers up something very important and, judging by the consequences, very profitable (in a bad sense of the word). I think that this position, at least, justifies something... This is especially noticeable when a person complains about the same thing for years. One feels like asking: “Why haven’t you solved the problem or changed your attitude towards it yet? What are you, a masochist? “Maybe you just like to whine and be miserable?”

And yes, I like it. Self-pity and unhappiness are, after all, a “legitimate” reason for both “taking care” of oneself in the form of various indulgences, and for attracting attention. In this perverted way, we "love" ourselves and extort "love" from others - and we like it much more than solving the problem.

But if we really loved ourselves, we would take care of our own. emotional state really - by solving a problem or adapting to it. This is how much you really need to not love yourself in order to endure and suffer for years ?!

A person who always complains does not love himself at all. He is very dissatisfied with himself deep down, but he does not want to admit it, and he is even more reluctant to change something in himself. So he is looking for excuses for his worthlessness and inaction in the fact that poorly him - what will you take from a sick, unhappy or depressed person? And even more so from someone who has such terrible living conditions - a hard job, a small salary, children are imps, there is nothing to wear, and even their favorite cup is broken ...

That's right, to demand something from him is simply inhumane! But with his suffering and patience, he "deserved" a lot: to rest - to relax, to treat himself to something tasty / pretty / pleasant. Is there supposed to be some joy in life? And no one will condemn, and most importantly, you will not condemn yourself - you are a “martyr”, you can and even need to have the strength and energy to pull the strap further! Remember the recommendations for? - They simply have to pamper themselves so that they have the strength to endure ...

But why do nice things have to be “deserved” by martyrdom? We value ourselves so little that just like that, without excuses and torment, we are not worthy of them? Or, nevertheless, do we feel in the depths of our souls that the irrepressible craving for pleasures and life for them is not very “good and right”, and therefore it needs complex justifications? What do you think? This interesting question deserves a separate discussion - subscribe.

The pursuit of pleasure is not so bad. The trouble is that the person who everything is bad, such weaknesses as irritability, irascibility, rudeness, inattention and even harshness to loved ones are excusable, especially if they are not enough for him understand and regret, that is, do not run around on tiptoe, anticipating his whims. In general, he is so tired and unhappy, and then all sorts of “bring it up”! “I feel bad” is an excellent excuse for inattention and rudeness, on the one hand, and demands for increased attention, on the other.

Look how many bonuses, it turns out, that I'm doing terribly! This is not to mention the fact that the martyr "has the right" to drink, go for a walk, do nothing for days and even, in especially exceptional cases, rape and kill - he must somehow compensate for his suffering and harmonize his state of mind? After all I feel bad- this is sacred, and all means are good in order to alleviate the suffering of the unfortunate!

Sounds scary? It's not about us, you say? And how does a lover of TV shows, games or social networks differ from an alcoholic, from a reveler - a reader of ladies' erotic novels or a lover of adult sites, from a maniac - harassing everyone with nitpicking and whining? Yes, nothing fundamentally - the same thing, just in a more familiar and easier form. And all this is hidden behind an innocent habit of whining and complaining about how bad things are.

A passive life position needs everything to be bad

The second, and probably the main reason why we everything is bad- . We avoid responsibility for our lives by shifting it to circumstances. Now, if the circumstances were different, then we would ... have accomplished a lot of feats and certainly would have been happy. But we are chronically "unlucky" - the circumstances do not add up in our favor. And not only external circumstances, but internal ones.

And in this case, the search for negativity is necessary just to justify our inaction. Dream about what we are could do if..., much more pleasant and safer than doing - doing is difficult and risky. Although in the depths of our souls we feel that we could do something and even sometimes we are obliged, but we do not want to - and therefore we need an ironclad alibi why this is impossible. And for an alibi, the collection of negativity that allegedly interferes with us is the best suited.

And if suddenly everything turns out in such a way that he gets what he lacked so much, what happens? Does he become happy and rush to be active? No matter how! - He will definitely find other reasons for dissatisfaction in order to continue complaining about how bad things are for him, because he is not ready to give up the bonuses that this state brings.

What if it's really bad?

“But sometimes things are really bad! Serious misfortunes happen to people, sometimes it’s really unbearably hard!” Of course, misfortunes and unbearable situations happen. But, firstly, they rarely happen - this is the death or serious illness of loved ones, a burned-out house or the absence of a piece of bread for children. Are you all that bad? Most often, our problems are far-fetched, not going to any comparison with serious misfortunes - we just make an elephant out of a fly.

And secondly, even serious misfortunes are still no reason to whine, feel sorry for yourself and fall into despair. Asking for help is one thing, whining is another. Psychologist Viktor Frankl in his book “Saying YES to Life! Psychologist in a concentration camp" shares his own experience stay in a German concentration camp and shows that even in such inhuman conditions, a person has a choice - how to relate to what is happening. I highly recommend this book to those who are really, really bad.

The reason for why do I feel bad or I'm doing terribly- not in objective reality, but in our outlook on life, which we ourselves choose. We like and need this position, because it justifies our passivity in life and allows us to indulge ourselves. If we want to change our lives and learn to love ourselves, we first need to honestly admit it to ourselves. And having confessed, make a decision to change and start. I look forward to your feedback - do you often feel bad, and what do you think about this?

© Nadezhda Dyachenko

- What? How do I live?

- Yes, it's normal, like everyone else ... Nobody interferes. I work, I study. There are relatives, no one died. Enough money for clothes. All the way, and by the standards of others - generally excellent. One thing only confuses - is it all necessary? Why all these vital necessities, if there is no point. Life still somehow turns out, but rejoice - no. Why do I feel so bad?

And it's not just a mood. Time doesn't change anything. Only the seasons succeed each other in a certain order. Just like friends, like generations, like all life stages. It's still hard to get up every morning, to go somewhere... Well, yes, it's hard for everyone... But I'm also disgusted by all this biomass that doesn't know why it lives. But he wants something from me. Barely bearable, but everything is like everyone else ...

Fuss, bustle… Such a long day, the first half of which passes in a slight swell. Morning is not my time, afternoon until evening - too. Why do I feel so bad? How I want this day to end already ... Everywhere I am sure to be late - at least for five minutes. And I see that I have to go in order to be in time, and nothing distracts ... But at one moment a feeling permeates - why? And I don't go anywhere, I just think or go on the Internet... People around me call it wrong time management. But that's not the point.

And so ... everything is like everyone else: the formalities are observed. With labels of the bustle of life, I hide from reality. Because I really don't need all this. This sensation vibrates in me, attacks of different strength. Sometimes more, brighter. Sometimes weaker.

And when I can't stand it, I talk about it. To those who are closer, who, in my opinion, should understand. They tell me that they understand, and ask the question: what do you want? What is missing? And what is missing, I can not express. I sit and can not explain why I feel so bad. They console me: you simply have nothing to compare with, you live stably and do not understand what is good and bad. In general, to feel happy, I just need to lose something from what I have. Maybe then I will understand how to enjoy life ...

Why do I feel so bad? Quieter in the evening...

And I, who by the evening shed all seven of the seven sweats,
Purposely having retired in the system, he became overboard of the world.

Loc-Dog - Muse

The day full of worries and distracting events is coming to an end. A lot of work, but it can be done at home. In general, it is better to work at home. Calm down somehow. And the twilight that shrouds the city sets you up for reflection. At this time I want to think.

Thoughts keep returning to the same question: how to live on? And what kind of life is this? Why do I feel so bad? I want to retire and think, looking at the starry sky. But it doesn't always work. Under the sky, such terrible loneliness is not felt. Somehow it lets go ... and it seems that in fact everything is in order with me, there are no objective reasons for despair. Is this crazy? is the only explanation that comes to my mind. But it is better not to think about it, these questions without answers will not lead anywhere. It is better to be distracted by work or entertainment, but by anything ... Just not to yearn. But over the years, this becomes impossible. There is too much misunderstanding of one's role in this life. And it accumulates like a snowball.

Evening and night are the best times. The mind becomes clear, the eyes open and begin to absorb information. Without any restrictions. One in the morning, two, three ... it doesn't matter. It is only important to read and read, to search... But what? Something interesting, new, something that can amaze me. And how many hours pass in the networks, on the forums - without an account ... Maybe I will find the answer to the question, why do I feel so bad?

Sometimes it feels like I'm just watching a movie. As if not even with my own eyes, but from the side, as if I was shooting with a camera. I walk, I see a picture in front of me, but I'm not there, there is only the world displayed in front of me. He seems to be unreal, intangible, inanimate. This is a screen, and I am just an indifferent observer.

There is a habit of thinking, and usually I do it, but in parallel, some other events just happen. And I perceive the surroundings insofar as: that side operator broadcasts a picture into my head, but I generally hear it as if through an airbag. Someone says something, but it comes to me late: what did he say? What did you mean?..

How often they do not understand that words and their meaning are two different things. Here I am and my mother, for example, we put different meanings into the word “meaning”, although the order of the letters does not change from this. Well, in order to answer, one should generally understand what they are talking about and what they want to say. But it's easier not to be distracted by all their nonsense - headphones save.

There is only one thing left - to indulge in painful reflections under the firmament and live out this short (I hope) life. Why do I feel so bad? It should have stopped by now.

A life where I feel so bad... Should I participate?

Life is no longer felt acutely and recedes into the background. Gnawing internal, inexplicable feeling of emptiness. Yes, I don’t throw myself off the roof yet, I don’t cut my veins, and I don’t even drink antidepressants. I just feel bad for some reason, and no one understands this. Outwardly, I am no different from those around me, but only from life and ordinary pleasures I am not happy. Yes, it doesn't exist at all...

Where are the answers to the questions, who will tell you? How to live - where are we going, why? Why do I feel so bad? There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Impenetrable abstract darkness has enveloped everything around, and the rays of the sun no longer penetrate. No warmth and no awareness - no happiness and joy. There is nothing. There is no strength to participate in this cycle of meaningless generations. But I don't have the right to leave on my own...

Why do I feel so bad? Answer for seekers

Search. The search is going on, although you do not always realize that this is a search. It seems that stupid things like: "Everyone has been sleeping for a long time, but I am occupied with the thought of whether the penguin has knees." Not the penguin bothers, and not even the knees. This consciousness explains – rationalizes. Are you looking for something of interest? And interests revolve around special things: psychology, physics, music, philosophy. And questions arise: why do people do this, why does this happen, what will happen to us ... Global, important and unanswered.

They were unanswered until I came across articles on Yuri Burlan. No, I didn’t find the meaning of being in the first article, but I began to guess why people act this way and not otherwise. How to understand people and how to understand yourself. Already directly during the training, the feeling of worthlessness and meaninglessness of life began to pass, because I understood who was characterized by the conditions that tormented me, and what to do with it now.

People with a sound vector are special people, their properties and tasks differ from those of others. Moreover, they are completely opposite. Their world is not a physical shell. Material values ​​are not important to them, ideas are important to them. Their task is to focus on meanings. The meanings of external and internal. And they find and embody them in different areas - music, science, ideas about social transformations. When a sound engineer does what he is given, he feels the need and integrity of his life. He is not tormented by internal questions and misunderstanding of others.

There are such moments. Everything is bad and you want to howl at the moon, scold God, curse everyone and everything. Nothing motivates anymore. Why do I feel so bad???

Psychologists usually say - do something nice for yourself, please yourself. This is nonsense. The source of strength is not in external objects or circumstances - eating a cake, watching a movie, indulging in something that you have not allowed before, soaking up in bed, spending money on yourself, etc. etc. You might think that everyone is only doing that they infringe on themselves, but here a good psychologist allowed himself to be pleased. We are pampering ourselves all the time!

The strength is within us, the source of happiness is in great selflessness, in doing, and not as a result of doing. But don't listen to me, I'm not happy yet. I am not yet an example to follow.

I suck, even though it would seem that everything is there for happiness. Family, children, work, success, even passion, even people want to learn something from me. But this is not all. My Soul Hurts. I'm out of place. Abandoned spirituality, or it was only the outer side of spirituality. Launched myself. But the time has come for serious decisions, or hit or miss. Need to do something.

First thought send everyone! I've never been in so much pain. The head thinks it's I guilty once (yes, even in past lives, but the responsibility is on me). But all the same, anger and gushing at those who hurt me. But they are often even more unhappy than me... So *oops. And no one to blame. And it would seem easier, but you won’t get rid of it.

second thought, quietly continue to pull the strap, close in yourself. But this is the choice of the sufferer. You see, they say, what I am, doing my job, fulfilling my duties, not making a fuss, I endure everything dutifully. No it's not that. I am not a victim. It's time to get rid of this worldview of self-pity.

third thought, As soon as I go, I'll do something. That is, to the detriment of everyone. I’ll go in for sports, bang yoga, you see, I’ll have more energy. But pshik, he was blown away. It used to work, now it doesn't.

Fourth... Just praying is also not right. It usually turns out that you shout something into the sky, again you pour yourself with pity for yourself, or you beg for something. Do not ask for anything, everything will come to you by itself, just do your job in good conscience. Unless selfless love is the only thing I would ask for. Everything else is vanity.

I ask for wisdom to understand the divine plan, courage to go your own way and selfless love, so that you have the strength to do all this for the benefit of yourself and the World.

I do not know what to do. Just one of these might help:

1. release emotions, only so that there is no one around. let it go a little, but don't get carried away.
2. now ask for forgiveness if you have thrown out your anger at someone, if you can’t, move on, then you will return to this point.
3. Scroll through your head such a thought - the one who hurts you is your best teacher, and often your offender suffers even more than yours
4. everything is interconnected - the pain that you caused someone comes back to you, accept it with dignity
5. if this is not retribution, then the test that you have prepared for yourself, if you want to raise the bar, pass the exam.
6. understand that someone is much worse off than you. if you feel better than someone else - don't worry, you still have a reserve of strength, you can still help someone.
7. If you start pampering yourself on the advice of modern soul healers, you will deceive yourself even more. don't be stupid. power is not food, sleep, entertainment.
8. look for motivation to live - I know it doesn't always work... even a photo of my son only stifles my tears, but the solution is not outside, but inside.
9. if at least some of the above worked out - now you can do the main thing - bring good to someone, give someone something that he doesn’t have, but you have in abundance, share with someone, help carry the bag, translate across the road... and run away, don't do it for the sake of praise, but for the sake of restoring balance, brother...

Yes, your balance is broken ... that’s shitty for you, you consumed a lot, you didn’t give it back to the world. And I have been violated, although I have not been noticed in unrighteous deeds. Here it burns the soul. I ask the Universe only to learn to give to the world, not wanting in return. That, brother, is strength. When you can calmly give, then there is something to give. When happiness comes from the fact that you are a creator, that you create, that you do more than just convert products into fertilizers.

Is it possible to give with dignity, without feeling like a humble sheep, at the expense of which someone profits. Can. That's the only way to give.

When you poke around in the sandbox with your peers, you fight for every shoulder blade, measure sand castles ... But when you grow up, you can safely give your shoulder blades and rakes to the kids. Didn't you notice it? You calmly part with what you grew up from, you generously make a gift, and the baby squeals with delight. At this moment you are the king, you are free, you are ready to move on... Give up your shoulder blades, grow out of them!

So I want to be free from the addictions and attachments of this world, rise above them and start creating freely. I want to become not a slave of the blessings of this world, but their creator.

So, what will be the way out for me when everything is bad? The only way out is to help someone, to make someone better. To replenish the scales of goodness and kindness in this World, then it will swing in my direction.

Go and you, stranger. Happiness to you.