Everyone knows what pride is. Manifestations of selfishness cannot be confused with anything else. Such a person often withdraws into himself and does not want to accept sincere care. In some cases, relationships begin to suffer from vanity and possessiveness. Selfishness in relationships is quite common. People are afraid of being rejected, of being in a situation where they feel unnecessary. Signs of pride can be recognized by several characteristics. They, as a rule, are conspicuous and remain in sight of others, because a selfish person does not know how to hide his feelings. What is egoism in its true understanding? Is it good or bad to think only about yourself? What does it mean to be selfish?

Selfishness and egocentrism

Many people confuse selfishness and egocentrism. Meanwhile, these two concepts are not at all identical to each other. Selfishness is a conscious desire to satisfy only one’s needs. Such a person becomes an owner and wants to subordinate surrounding events to his daily whims. An egoist really only thinks about himself. He cares little about the fate of the people around him. Such a person is internally convinced that those around him should satisfy his needs in every possible way. Of course, this is not always possible. He is not able to take care of the interests of even blood relatives. People in most cases do not like those who are not ready to give, but only intend to take.

Egocentrism can be attributed to normal human needs. Each personality has its own inner world. Everyone needs to have their own space, but creative people especially need it. They need to have some space for the birth of a new thought, to create an opportunity for effective work and creation. A self-centered person does not forget about others. He simply devotes a large amount of time to self-realization, to bringing what he wants to life. A self-centered person is more focused on achieving desired dreams and goals. For some reason, he is ready to devote a lot of time to his own studies every day.

Increased self-esteem

A true egoist never wants to share with anyone. His pride is developed to such an extent that it prevents him from learning to take care of loved ones. Vanity and pride are its inherent characteristics. Excessive attention to oneself, one's needs and achievements makes such a person arrogant, arrogant, callous, and unable to respond with his heart to someone else's misfortune. Arrogant behavior is inherent in a selfish personality. He is also characterized by arrogance, since he needs to maintain an exclusive opinion of himself. Selfish men never take care of their family and do not show true concern for them. A person gets used to living exclusively for himself, trying to satisfy his everyday needs. He does not strive for something more, does not want to develop positive character traits, does not attach importance to them. For people of this kind, there are only their own needs.

Diffidence

In fact, behind selfishness and pride lies a colossal sense of self-doubt. A person often does not notice how he begins to have problems interacting with other people. Those around him seem bad and unworthy of attention. In psychology, the definition of egoism necessarily affects the concepts of dignity and the degree of self-confidence. When a person lacks firmness, he becomes overly stubborn. Both men and women suffer from such arrogance equally. A clear sign of a selfish consciousness is the need to dominate. The psychology of egoism implies that a person lives only by his inner world.

Excessive isolation, concentration of the individual on his own momentary whims are manifestations of egoism as such. Fixation on their personal experiences often prevents people from feeling truly happy. Such a person does not know how to enjoy the moment, as he is constantly in a race for some next goal. They always want to achieve something more and do not know how to enjoy what they already have at the present moment. This is actually a sad sight because happiness eludes such a person. He is simply not ready to accept it, because he does not know how to think constructively and understand the changes that are happening to them. Traits of egoism in a person include arrogance, arrogance, and excessive rationality. In fact, he is simply very unsure of himself and his capabilities.

Blaming others

Selfishness in relationships always involves consciously or unconsciously blaming others for your problems. The reason for this behavior is a persistent reluctance to accept responsibility for what is happening. The egoist only wants to enjoy all the benefits of humanity, but not work to achieve what he wants. Such a person simply does not want to admit to himself that he himself is wrong. Often a person is the provocateur of some unpleasant situation, but will never admit it even to herself. Such an action requires colossal volitional efforts. It is easier for an egoist to accuse others of injustice than to try to solve emerging difficulties himself. In most cases, such a person is incredibly far from accepting responsibility. He lives in his own world, he does not care about the values ​​and desires of others. selfish consciousness does not accept compassion. That is why they can easily slander an honest person without thinking about the fact that they are harming someone.

High expectations

A characteristic sign of the development of selfish consciousness is extremely high demands. However, they are presented not to oneself, but to others. This happens for the reason that a person considers himself too good, too worthy to change his own behavior. Therefore, he decides that it would be better if the people and events around him change. This applies equally to both men and women. Inflated expectations do not allow you to simply live and enjoy every day. For an egoist, what he has at a given moment is never enough. His psychology is such that a person constantly feels internal dissatisfaction. He often does not notice positive changes in his life and prefers to ignore them, but he focuses on the negative aspects.

Female selfishness

Women's selfishness manifests itself in several directions. Firstly, the desire to shop increases. There is a desire to satisfy any desire. A woman spends huge sums of money on various trinkets, not caring at all about how the rest of the family can survive. Female egoism manifests itself in the fact that such a girl is worried exclusively about her own desires. If for some reason she cannot immediately satisfy her needs, then she will begin to take it out on others. Women's egoism very often has no boundaries.

Male egoism

Childish selfishness

Children's selfishness is one of the most understandable. It is customary to pamper children whenever possible and fulfill their innermost desires. However, it is necessary to control this process before it turns into childish egoism. Otherwise, parents will then not be able to raise the child properly. Children's egoism manifests itself in unlimited desires. The child begins to demand that many different things be bought for him, and he does not always fully understand why he needs it. If a child does not know refusal, then it becomes extremely difficult for him to control his own desires. Unlike an adult, a little person is not limited by anything in his fantasies. Over time, such a child can turn into one big problem for his parents. A child can make the life of a father and mother simply unbearable. That is why it is necessary to pamper children in moderation. Otherwise, you can raise a person who will only care about himself in the future.

Thus, defining the concept of egoism is not particularly difficult. Everyone is a selfish person in their own way. In any case, this will be a person fixated on his own problems, not used to helping others. Such a person has little chance of making real friends. After all, any attachment requires colossal dedication, and an egoist is used to caring only about himself.

Who is an egoist? This is a person whose views, interests and behavior revolve entirely around his own self and are aimed exclusively at his own benefits. Egoism is most easily revealed in a situation that puts a person before a choice - to satisfy his own interests or to sacrifice them for the sake of another person. How else does selfishness manifest itself?

Types of selfishness

Each of us was told in childhood that being selfish is bad. And in the end, we learned to cunningly turn the situation in our favor, telling the person: “You are selfish! You don’t take my interests into account at all!” But in this way we ourselves show selfishness without even noticing it.

In essence, selfishness is neither good nor bad. This is absolutely natural for a person who has a healthy psyche and normal self-esteem. It is stupid to condemn another for selfishness - you can only condemn the degree of manifestation of this quality.

Consequently, three main types of egoism can be distinguished:

Superegoism. Something from the series “all women are like women, but I am a goddess.”

Self-deprecation. Such a person constantly says: “Oh God, just look at how insignificant I am!”

Healthy selfishness is the golden mean between two extremes. A person understands both his own and other people’s needs and strives for their mutual satisfaction.

The main signs of unhealthy selfishness

Try to take a closer look at your friends. Surely among them there is at least one notorious egoist. How will it be different from others?

• He does not take on a business that will not bring him benefit.
• Whatever you talk to him about, one way or another you will have to discuss his extraordinary personality.
• He believes that there are only two opinions - his and the wrong one.
• Knows how to find a way out of difficult situations through the help of others.
• He is indifferent to everyone except himself.
• He hopes that others will give in, but he himself will not compromise.
• He will notice a speck in someone else's eye, but not a log in his own.
• In any of his actions he tries to find benefits or openly demands them.

Consequences of selfishness

Some individuals believe that in modern society, egoists have a very good life. Well, they’re doing the right thing: they go ahead, think only about themselves, and yet they achieve success! But in reality, the laws of human relations negatively affect those people who do not lift a finger without personal gain.

Sooner or later, those around him will turn away from the egoist, since his behavior is socially unacceptable. He will not be able to have a normal serious relationship with anyone - things will always be limited to only superficial contacts. Loneliness is the worst retribution for selfishness.

What is healthy selfishness?

You have absolutely healthy egoism if:

• know how to defend your point of view, refusing what, in your opinion, can harm you;
• ready to compromise;
• you can defend yourself by any means if you or your loved ones are in danger;
• You don’t obey anyone, but you don’t control others either;
• make choices in your own favor without feeling guilty;
• you pay attention primarily to your own interests, but at the same time you understand that there is another way of looking at things;
• do not be afraid to express your own opinion, even if it contradicts the opinion of the majority;
• you can criticize others without stooping to insults;
• You respect your partner’s wishes, but also take into account your principles.

Thus, by reflecting on the topic of how selfishness manifests itself, you can learn a lot of new things about yourself and your friends. The main thing is not to cross the line of healthy egoism, and then both those around you and you yourself will be happy.

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Selfishness

(from the Latin ego - I) - the value orientation of the subject, characterized by the predominance in his life of self-interested personal interests and needs, regardless of the interests of other people and social groups. Manifestations of E. are inherent in the subject’s relationship to another person as an object and a means of achieving selfish goals. The development of E. and its transformation into a dominant one is explained by serious defects in upbringing. If the tactics of family education are objectively aimed at consolidating such manifestations as the child’s inflated personality, then he can develop a strong value orientation, in which only his own interests, needs, experiences, etc. are taken into account. In adulthood, such a concentration on one’s own, selfishness and complete indifference to the inner world of another person or social group can lead to alienation as the subject’s experience of loneliness in a world hostile to him. In many psychological and ethical-psychological concepts, E. is unreasonably considered as an innate property of a person, thanks to which the protection of his life activity is supposedly ensured. In everyday usage, E. acts as the opposite of altruism. The separation of E. and altruism into opposite poles reflects the initial unlawful opposition of the I and THEY, as supposedly the only possible one. The historically progressive tendency is associated with the removal of the antagonism between I and THEY by the unifying principle We: what a person does for others is equally useful to him and to others, since it is useful for the community to which he belongs. Thus, if we keep in mind the socio-psychological patterns of individual behavior, then the alternative “either E. or altruism” turns out to be false. The true alternative to E. and altruism is collectivist.

Brief psychological dictionary. - Rostov-on-Don: “PHOENIX”. L.A. Karpenko, A.V. Petrovsky, M. G. Yaroshevsky. 1998 .

Selfishness

The value orientation of the subject, characterized by the predominance in life of selfish personal interests and needs, regardless of the interests of other people and social groups. Manifestations of egoism are characterized by an attitude towards another person as an object and a means of achieving selfish goals. The development of egoism and its transformation into the dominant orientation of the personality is explained by serious defects in upbringing. If the tactics of family education are objectively aimed at consolidating such manifestations as inflated self-esteem and egocentrism of the child, then he can develop a strong value orientation, in which only his own interests, needs, experiences, etc. are taken into account. In adulthood, such a concentration on one’s own self, selfishness and complete indifference to the inner world of another person or to a social group can lead to alienation - the experience of loneliness in a hostile world. In many psychological and ethical-psychological concepts adopted in the West, egoism is unreasonably considered as an innate property of a person, thanks to which the protection of his life is ensured. In everyday usage, egoism appears as the opposite of altruism. The separation into opposite poles of egoism and altruism reflects the original opposition between I and They. The historically progressive tendency is associated with the removal of the antagonism between I and They by the unifying principle We: what a person does for others is equally useful to him and to others, since it is useful for the society to which he belongs. So, if we keep in mind the socio-psychological patterns of individual behavior in a team, then the egoism-altruism alternative turns out to be imaginary. The true alternative is the opposition to both egoism and altruism of such behavior, when the subject effectively treats others as himself, and himself as all others in the collective ( cm. ).

Dictionary of a practical psychologist. - M.: AST, Harvest. S. Yu. Golovin. 1998.

Selfishness

   SELFISHNESS (With. 641)

Many generations of our compatriots grew up under noble slogans: “The public is higher than the personal”, “Live for others!”, “Happiness is in giving, not taking”... Against this background, any desire of an individual to defend his personal interests was perceived with suspicion as unwanted antisocial behavior. By calling a person an egoist, one could severely offend, thereby emphasizing that he is not like all normal decent people, but, on the contrary, a narcissistic, selfish renegade.

Times change, and morals change. The most popular slogan today is: “Every man for himself, one god for all.” And as often happens with sudden changes in the public mood, some kind of confusion ensued in the minds of almost every individual. What principles should you profess? Self-sacrifice and dedication? But you won’t live like this in the current difficult conditions, and you certainly won’t achieve tangible success. Maybe focus on yourself, your loved one? But it is not possible to get complete satisfaction from this: humanistic principles deeply rooted in the consciousness (or even in the subconscious) interfere. And relationships with others do not develop very smoothly and do not bring much joy: a person focused on himself cannot expect sincere sympathy from others.

Parents are especially worried: how to raise their growing children? Altruists and unmercenaries? But will the grown-up child then be able to assert himself in the conditions of fierce competition and achieve at least something in the grueling race of life? But if he, on the contrary, grows up to be an egoist, then won’t he eventually turn into a soulless manipulator, who needs not only those near and far, but also his own mother and father, only while they are useful? Therefore, the child’s inability to take into account the interests of others worries many parents.

However, parents can be reassured. Using the example of a growing child, one can, so to speak, observe in natural conditions the general laws of personality development inherent in every person.

A person comes into the world with an unconscious (there is no trace of consciousness yet) attitude: this world exists for his sake, revolves around his person and serves to satisfy his needs. True, these needs are very simple at first: to get enough food, sleep, perform natural needs, get rid of pain and inconvenience. A baby cannot provide for its own life activities; this responsibility falls entirely on adults. And if they neglect this duty, the baby will simply die. So mothers and fathers, grandparents, listen to the still inarticulate demands of the baby, and rush to satisfy them. How else?

The first years of life are marked by the child's concentration on himself. This is his natural state, which should not cause concern. The complaints of the mother of a three-year-old child that her child is growing up selfish is an unjustified exaggeration. Every child goes through this stage in their development. True, experts avoid the word “egoism”, preferring in this case to talk about the so-called egocentrism. In a psychological interpretation, this concept does not contain any moral assessment, since it characterizes not so much the level of morality as the general cognitive position.

Of course, the complaints of the older generation about the selfishness of the young are largely a tribute to tradition: in all centuries, the elders have reproached the younger ones. However, today there are more grounds for such reproaches than usual. Having grown up in an atmosphere of comfort and prosperity, surrounded by the unfailing care of their parents, modern young people (and this is objectively evidenced by scientific research) are for the most part more selfish than their peers in the old days. What conclusion should parents draw from this? Immerse a child for his own good in the abyss of adversity and trials? Of course no. But it is advisable to avoid the opposite extreme. A child from an early age must learn that the fulfillment of his desires does not happen automatically, but depends on many conditions. And by meeting the needs of other people, it is easier to satisfy your own desires.

But is it possible in principle to raise a person who is absolutely alien to selfishness? It is customary to call an egoist someone who loves himself more than anyone else, and cares only about his own interests, neglecting those of others. Let's try to build a kind of moral ideal, so to speak, by contradiction. And an individual will appear before us, filled with selfless love for others, but completely devoid of self-love. He readily rushes to satisfy other people's needs, and thinks about his own last. And now, hand on heart, let’s try to remember how often we have met such people in real life. It will probably take a long time to remember.

Although people who do not love themselves are by no means uncommon. From childhood, having internalized the abstract idea that loving oneself is bad, they sternly eradicated this “flaw” in themselves. But for some reason, it is precisely these people who are not very pleasant to talk to, and by and large are simply dangerous to others. Because no love for others can be detected in them. Ruthlessly demanding of themselves, they are equally harsh towards others, intolerant of mistakes and blunders. People instinctively avoid those who are ruthless towards themselves, feeling that they do not deserve any other attitude.

No wonder the biblical commandment calls to love your neighbor... as yourself! That is, self-love, even according to strict biblical canons, is not a sin at all, but the source and starting point of gracious love for one’s neighbor.

The only difficulty is that unconditional observance of this commandment is incompatible with biological laws. Whether we like it or not, selfishness is an integral feature of all living things. And if we are honest with ourselves, we are forced to admit: not one of us loves all our fellow men as ourselves. When conflicting needs and interests collide, I have no right to expect my neighbor to take my interests as close to his heart as his own. If we assume an extreme case: we have to decide whose life to save - his or mine, I (perhaps not without hesitation and internal torment) will choose mine. Of course, there are exceptions - almost every parent is ready to die to save their child. But such actions cannot serve as a standard of behavior that applies to everyone around.

Therefore, let's not be hypocrites. Self-deception only gives rise to a feeling of inferiority and a feeling of guilt that we are not up to the height of the proclaimed principles. Self-love is a natural, biologically predetermined property. A person who has lost this property becomes, in some sense, defective. And it is in this sense that we can talk about the inferiority of an egoist who, as it turns out, does not know how to love himself and defends his own interests rudely and ineffectively.

For thousands of years, selfishness has been the basis of evolution. Initially, the simplest forms of life, such as single and completely independent cells, were subject to the law of natural selection. Cells unable to protect themselves quickly ceased to exist. But it was just as natural that such pure “selfishness” leads to dangerous conflicts, since the benefit of one organism is achieved at the expense of another. And some degree of altruism arose as a higher stage of evolution. Single-celled organisms began to combine into stronger and more complex multicellular organisms. Cells gave up their independence and specialized, taking on the functions of protection, nutrition, and movement in space. At the same time, the vitality of the whole has increased significantly, thereby increasing the well-being of its constituent units.

In the same way, people have formed groups of mutual cooperation and insurance - families, tribes and nations, in which "altruistic egoism" is the key to well-being.

Likewise, in his individual development, a person is initially conscious only of himself, and only subsequently, thanks to the development of thought, begins to understand that between him and others like him there is a more or less close connection that contributes to his own well-being. Thus, the feeling of solidarity is not an original instinct, like selfishness, but has become only a later acquisition, both in the history of the human race and in the life of an individual. Altruism is not at all the opposite of egoism, but only its deepening and expansion. A person reaches the ideal concept of solidarity in the same way as he reached the practical idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe structure of public institutions, that is, after he realized that they are useful to him.

The one we call an egoist simply has not achieved a full understanding of this truth. It is like a restless cell that draws all the vital juices onto itself and sooner or later is rejected by the body.

Canadian physiologist Hans Selye, famous for his teaching on stress, is also the creator of the philosophical concept of altruistic egoism. According to Selye, the noble but lifeless commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself” should be replaced with the slogan “Earn the love of your neighbor.” No one can enjoy the benefits of life without representing anything in themselves and without being of any interest or benefit to other people. Only a person who has managed to achieve something in life deserves true self-respect and the love of others, since his achievements in one way or another bring some benefit to people. Realizing that people value his contribution to the general well-being, a person can sincerely love himself without suffering from remorse. And his love for his neighbor is expressed in those real deeds that allow him to prosper himself and cannot but bring benefit to others.

And there is no need to talk about the advantages of altruism or selfishness. In a normal person, these properties are inextricably fused, like yin and yang, like two sides of the same coin. A reasonable combination of these contradictory but interdependent traits is the basis of mental well-being.

Popular psychological encyclopedia. - M.: Eksmo. S.S. Stepanov. 2005.

Selfishness

The tendency to act primarily in one's own interests.

Psychology. AND I. Dictionary reference / Transl. from English K. S. Tkachenko. - M.: FAIR PRESS. Mike Cordwell. 2000.

Synonyms:

Antonyms:

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selfishness- Selfishness... Dictionary of Russian synonyms

SELFISHNESS- (from Latin ego I), the principle of life orientation, based on the motives of selfishness and self-interest, caring for one’s “I” and its interests even at the cost of the good of others. E. is the opposite of altruism. In a figurative sense they talk about group... ... Philosophical Encyclopedia

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Egoism is a quality of character and a person’s desire for obvious or covert superiority over others and personal power, solely for the realization of his own selfish desires or personal gain. Reluctance to give away a part of yourself or yours. This is the absence of Love for another.

Manifestations and properties of Egoism

Selfishness, as a quality of personality, manifests itself in the feelings, consciousness, subconscious, actions and deeds of a person. Egoism manifests itself most clearly through, Rivalry, thirst for Power,.

Selfishness is a complete lack of Love for another person. The exception is your own children. Egoism is a sense of oneself as an individual. This feeling works in two directions: either live for someone else or just for yourself.

Very often, selfishness turns into deep disappointment with life and loneliness.

Unlike the inner world of human consciousness, in the material world, a person has to adapt to conditions when most people live for themselves and material wealth.
The instrument of adaptation is the false Ego, which permeates a person’s consciousness and feelings. The false ego captures all the properties of a person’s character, subordinating thoughts and actions to sensual pleasures only for its own sake. There are two extremes and two different poles of Egoism, which are called Egoism and Altruism.

True Ego - Altruism

An altruist is a person who selflessly helps others, based on the action of the so-called true Ego.

To be consistent, the Altruist shows healthy forms of Egoism, living for the sake of others. This has its drawbacks, which include stopping in one’s own path of development and improvement as an individual. Altruism cannot be considered an ideal and said that it is very good. A person on his life’s path is always at some specific point on the Egoism - Altruism scale, and this is more correct.

In the case of Altruism, the consciousness and soul of a person, even theoretically, cannot imagine how one can find Happiness by living only to satisfy one’s desires.

A person with such attitudes as Altruism always imagines that real Happiness is achieved when he brought joy to other people, did something pleasant and useful for them. What's the joy if you're the only one happy?
The basic, daily principle of such a person’s life begins with a question to himself - “What have you done that is useful for other people today?”

A volunteer is a very striking example of Altruism and the behavior of such people. A true Volunteer is a person who voluntarily engages in free socially useful activities.

False Ego - Selfishness

An egoist, as it is commonly called in society, is a person who lives for his inner self and his material selfish interests. This is the so-called False Ego. This is the path to achieve material false Happiness.

The False Ego states, “This is my hand, my mind, my feelings, my mind, my husband, my car, my house, my country and finally my Earth.” The false ego covers all aspects of a person’s material life. This is exactly the lifestyle and way of behavior in society called material selfishness.

However, if a person lives only under the influence of a false Ego, he is not able to achieve true Happiness, since it should be sought in the sphere of interaction of two Egos.

People seeking happiness in selfless love and helping people can be found everywhere; you just need to take a close look at the world around you, going beyond the selfish world of your friends.

Short concept - Goodness

The struggle between the True and False Ego is called Passion and where the True Ego takes weight over the False Ego, Goodness arises.

Other descriptions and manifestations of Egoism

Selfishness is the desire to live at the expense of others and to receive something in this life undeservedly, that is, to receive for nothing or using methods for this - deception, manipulation, violence and others.
Stronger forms of egoism are hypertrophied or extreme egoism - dependency and parasitism.

Selfishness is a justified need and desire to use others and the whole world, its resources, to realize one’s selfish desires and for any selfish interests. Selfishness is the justified willingness and habit of not caring about others and their opinions.

An egoist has all his thoughts only about himself, or about his unfulfilled desires. And this always makes the egoist deeply unhappy.
Selfishness is when a person is ready to do only what he personally likes, when this is the most important thing for him.

And if others don’t like it, he’s not interested in it, or he’s only interested in it in the tenth place.

The Influence of Selfishness on Happiness

Finally, through understanding Egoism and its forms, I gradually brought you to the concept of Happiness.
Happiness is a selfless path to some high goal for the sake of other people.

For example, true love can only be selfless. A mother loves her newborn child selflessly without any thoughts and without expecting gratitude from the child.

When one of the spouses realizes that he is being used, he is very offended by the selfishness of his other half. A person in love with himself cannot be capable of true love. Selfishness is a terrible vice that completely poisons love and family relationships.

Human nature is designed in such a way that he has a constant need to obtain happiness by giving his love to other people. If a person lives in ignorance, indulges his desires and passions, he thereby destroys himself as a person.

A manifestation of selfishness is the denial of everything truthful about oneself. A person is so overwhelmed by Egoism that it hurts him to listen to the words of another. He rushes into an argument, interrupts, proves, is indignant and makes excuses.

Selfishness causes natural antagonism and resistance. If a person goes into the outside world with the only desire to snatch without giving anything in return with the slogan - “This is all for me!”, the world, for obvious reasons, resists.

At first, in family relationships, the parties tolerate manifestations of Egoism, then they begin to argue, quarrel and conflict in various forms. In other words, any form of self-interest causes antagonism, resistance and clash of false egos.

The destructive activity of Egoism deprives a person of the opportunity to achieve happiness

Selfishness and self-love should not be confused

Selfishness is false self-love. This is love not for one’s divine Soul, but for one’s Pride and Vanity, love for one’s self-conceit and false greatness.

Selfishness is the gratification of one's base desires and vices, the justification of one's sins and mistakes, the indulgence of that Evil that lives in a person and destroys him. This is an excuse and fuel for your laziness, stupidity, lack of education, your grievances, emotions of anger and hatred, envy and jealousy, your bad habits and vices, etc.

True Self Love

Of course, you need to love yourself, but this love should not belittle the dignity and interests of other people, and should not devalue both other people and the whole world around you.

True love and a kind attitude towards yourself always gives you the same kind attitude towards other people, increasing their value in your life. Such love gives birth in the Soul to a bright desire to do Good for other people unselfishly, without a frantic thirst to necessarily receive personal benefits from any relationship. When true Love for oneself and for other people is revealed in the soul, selfishness quickly melts, loses strength, and decreases.

A person’s lack of Egoism does not at all imply that a person should not think about himself and his life, or that he should always do everything to the detriment of himself and to please others. Altruism does not mean material poverty.

If a person has earned a beautiful and rich life through honest work, he should accept it with dignity and be proud of himself. Wealth, luxury, and a decent personal life do not make a person an Egoist.

A person becomes an egoist if, with all this luxury, he begins to spit on other people, completely ignoring their interests and feelings, and does nothing useful and good for society and this world. If the principle of this person is everything good only for himself - this is an Egoist.

Consequences of Selfishness

That is why Egoists, deep down, are the most unhappy people. Selfishness, if you give it power over yourself, always leads you to endless suffering and mental anguish of loneliness, even if you suffer in your own palace, sitting on a golden toilet.
There is a question at the end of the article.

We are all, one way or another, selfish. But the very concept of selfishness includes not only thoughts about oneself beloved. Selfishness, as a trait, is diverse and multifaceted. It can vary from extreme to mild forms, making it not immediately noticeable.

So, what types of egoism are there?

1. Inveterate egoism or narcissism . This is an extreme form of manifestation of this quality. The narcissist loves himself and only himself. His reflection in the mirror is only the sweetest, and his actions are the most correct. Flaws? They simply don't exist! Such a person does not shun arrogance, and he himself is far from ideal. The narcissist does not help anyone, does not owe anyone anything, and his sins and misdeeds are not something shameful. He does not know how to love and empathize at all. The narcissist not only takes everything for himself, but also forces others to do the same. The narcissist is especially dangerous because he plays on people's feelings and is sincerely proud of it.
2. Selfishness overstated . This, of course, is no longer narcissism. But such a manifestation of selfishness is also possessiveness and manipulation. Everyone should do as the inflated egoist wants. He does not consider the wishes of others. But this type still sometimes softens and allows himself to be kind and noble. But only for himself, as a rule. Such an egoist harms only those who are happy to be deceived and live in illusions.
3. Egocentrism . It is the concentration of all life events on one’s own experiences and achievements. This is more of a character trait rather than a flaw. Such a person is quite suspicious and self-critical. He sees little good in life, believing that everyone is trying to harm him. Often this is simply a disliked person. Sometimes too spoiled. The advantage of such a person is that he knows how to admit his mistake, although it is difficult for him to remain balanced. Because of this, he is forced to be egocentric.
4. Healthy selfishness . It is the “golden” mean in this classification. A person is selfish only within normal limits. Moderately picky, demanding and kind, he does not allow anyone to sit on his neck and drain his energy. This is the type of people who lives for themselves, but does not interfere with others. He gains freedom and does not bother others with himself. The most pleasant of all types. Such a person is always respected in society for his self-sufficiency and independence.
5. Excessive kindness . There is practically no egoism in such a person. He is full of kindness to people and is always open. But still, there is a share of selfishness in him: it is precisely such an individual who engages in charity with all his heart. He does not hesitate to praise himself. Or he does good only when he himself feels bad, thereby making up for his shortcomings.
6. Altruism. The complete opposite of selfishness. An altruist will give his last shirt to save a person in trouble. This is the eternal poor man who donates money to the unfortunate. He is a volunteer, a builder, and a minister of churches, just a sympathetic person. It is the altruist who carries home all the sick, abandoned cats and dogs, wanting to give them at least a little warmth. Such a person is sincerely happy, he does not expect merit for his deeds, doing things from the bottom of his heart. But it is he who can become the main victim of scammers, deceivers and manipulators who profit from his kindness.