The Adventures of Baron Munchausen 212. Rudolf Raspe - The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (with illustrations)

HORSE ON THE ROOF

I went to Russia on horseback. It was winter. It was snowing.

The horse got tired and began to stumble. I really wanted to sleep. I almost fell out of the saddle from fatigue. But I looked in vain for an overnight stay: I didn’t come across a single village on the way. What was to be done?

We had to spend the night in an open field.

There are no bushes or trees around. Only a small column stuck out from under the snow.

I somehow tied my cold horse to this post, and I lay down right there in the snow and fell asleep.

I slept for a long time, and when I woke up, I saw that I was lying not in a field, but in a village, or rather, in a small town, surrounded by houses on all sides.

What's happened? Where am I? How could these houses grow here overnight?

And where did my horse go?

For a long time I did not understand what happened. Suddenly I hear a familiar neigh. This is my horse neighing.

But where is he?

Neighing comes from somewhere above.

I raise my head and what?

My horse is hanging on the roof of the bell tower! He is tied to the cross itself!

In one minute I realized what was happening.

Last night this entire town, with all the people and houses, was covered in deep snow, and only the top of the cross stuck out.

I didn’t know that it was a cross, it seemed to me that it was a small post, and I tied my tired horse to it! And at night, while I was sleeping, a strong thaw began, the snow melted, and I sank to the ground unnoticed.

But my poor horse remained there, above, on the roof. Tied to the cross of the bell tower, he could not descend to the ground.

What to do?

Without hesitation, I grab the gun, aim straight and hit the bridle, because I have always been an excellent shot.

Bridle in half.

The horse quickly descends towards me.

I jump on it and, like the wind, I gallop forward.

WOLF HARNESSED TO A SLED

But in winter it is inconvenient to ride a horse; it is much better to travel in a sleigh. I bought myself a very good sled and quickly rushed through the soft snow.

In the evening I entered the forest. I was already starting to doze off when I suddenly heard the alarming neighing of a horse. I looked around and in the light of the moon I saw a terrible wolf, which, with its toothy mouth open, was running after my sleigh.

There was no hope of salvation.

I lay down on the bottom of the sleigh and closed my eyes in fear.

My horse ran like crazy. The clicking of wolf teeth was heard right in my ear.

But, fortunately, the wolf did not pay any attention to me.

He jumped over the sleigh right over my head and pounced on my poor horse.

In one minute, the hindquarters of my horse disappeared into his voracious mouth.

The front part continued to jump forward in horror and pain.

The wolf ate my horse deeper and deeper.

When I came to my senses, I grabbed the whip and, without wasting a minute, began to whip the insatiable beast.

He howled and lunged forward.

The front part of the horse, not yet eaten by the wolf, fell out of the harness into the snow, and the wolf ended up in its place in the shafts and in the horse harness!

He could not escape from this harness: he was harnessed like a horse.

I continued to whip him as hard as I could.

He rushed forward and forward, dragging my sleigh behind him.

We rushed so fast that within two or three hours we galloped into St. Petersburg.

Amazed St. Petersburg residents ran out in crowds to look at the hero, who, instead of a horse, harnessed a ferocious wolf to his sleigh. I lived well in St. Petersburg.

SPARKS FROM THE EYES

I often went hunting and now I remember with pleasure that fun time when so many wonderful stories happened to me almost every day.

One story was very funny.

The fact is that from my bedroom window I could see a vast pond where there was a lot of all kinds of game.

One morning, going to the window, I noticed wild ducks on the pond.

I instantly grabbed the gun and ran headlong out of the house.

But in a hurry, running down the stairs, I hit my head on the door, so hard that sparks fell from my eyes.

Run home for flint?

But ducks can fly away.

I sadly lowered the gun, cursing my fate, and suddenly a brilliant idea occurred to me.

As hard as I could, I punched myself in the right eye. Of course, sparks began to fall from the eye, and at the same moment the gunpowder ignited.

Yes! The gunpowder ignited, the gun fired, and I killed ten excellent ducks with one shot.

I advise you, whenever you decide to make a fire, to extract the same sparks from your right eye.

AMAZING HUNT

However, more amusing cases have happened to me. Once I spent the whole day hunting and in the evening I came across a vast lake in a deep forest, which was teeming with wild ducks. I have never seen so many ducks in my life!

Unfortunately, I didn't have a single bullet left.

And just this evening I was expecting a large group of friends to join me, and I wanted to treat them to game. I am generally a hospitable and generous person. My lunches and dinners were famous throughout St. Petersburg. How will I get home without ducks?

I stood indecisive for a long time and suddenly remembered that there was a piece of lard left in my hunting bag.

Hooray! This lard will be an excellent bait. I take it out of my bag, quickly tie it to a long and thin string and throw it into the water.

Ducks, seeing food, immediately swim to the lard. One of them greedily swallows it.

But lard is slippery and, quickly passing through the duck, pops out behind it!

Thus, the duck ends up on my string.

Then the second duck swims up to the bacon, and the same thing happens to it.

Duck after duck swallows the lard and puts it on my string like beads on a string. Not even ten minutes pass before all the ducks are strung on it.

You can imagine how much fun it was for me to look at such rich booty! All I had to do was pull out the caught ducks and take them to my cook in the kitchen.

This will be a feast for my friends!

But dragging this many ducks was not so easy.

I took a few steps and was terribly tired. Suddenly you can imagine my amazement! the ducks flew into the air and lifted me to the clouds.

Anyone else in my place would be at a loss, but I am a brave and resourceful person. I made a rudder out of my coat and, steering the ducks, quickly flew towards the house.

But how to get down?

Very simple! My resourcefulness helped me here too.

I twisted the heads of several ducks, and we began to slowly sink to the ground.

I fell right into the chimney of my own kitchen! If you had only seen how amazed my cook was when I appeared before him on the fire!

Fortunately, the cook had not yet had time to light the fire.

Partridges on a ramrod

Oh, resourcefulness is a great thing! Once I happened to shoot seven partridges with one shot. After that, even my enemies could not help but admit that I was the first shooter in the whole world, that there had never been such a shooter as Munchausen!

Here is how it was.

I was returning from hunting, having spent all my bullets. Suddenly seven partridges flew out from under my feet. Of course, I could not allow such excellent game to escape me.

I loaded my gun with what do you think? ramrod! Yes, with an ordinary cleaning rod, that is, an iron round stick that is used to clean a gun!

Then I ran up to the partridges, scared them and shot.

The partridges flew up one after another, and my ramrod pierced seven at once. All seven partridges fell at my feet!

I picked them up and was amazed to see that they were fried! Yes, they were fried!

However, it could not have been otherwise: after all, my ramrod became very hot from the shot and the partridges that fell on it could not help but fry.

I sat down on the grass and immediately ate lunch with great appetite.

FOX ON A NEEDLE

Yes, resourcefulness is the most important thing in life, and there was no more resourceful person in the world than Baron Munchausen.

One day, in a dense Russian forest, I came across a silver fox.

The skin of this fox was so good that I felt sorry to spoil it with a bullet or shot.

Without hesitating for a moment, I took the bullet out of the gun barrel and, loading the gun with a long shoe needle, shot at this fox. As she stood under the tree, the needle pinned her tail firmly to the very trunk.

I slowly approached the fox and began to whip her with a whip.

She was so stunned by pain, would you believe it? jumped out of her skin and ran away from me naked. And I got the skin intact, not damaged by a bullet or shot.

BLIND PIG

Yes, many amazing things have happened to me!

One day I was making my way through the thicket of a dense forest and I saw: a wild piglet, still very small, was running, and behind the piglet was a large pig.

I shot, but unfortunately missed.

My bullet flew right between the pig and the pig. The piglet squealed and ran into the forest, but the pig remained rooted to the spot.

I was surprised: why doesn’t she run away from me? But as I got closer, I realized what was going on. The pig was blind and did not understand the roads. She could walk through the forests only holding the tail of her pig.

My bullet tore off this tail. The pig ran away, and the pig, left without him, did not know where to go. She stood helplessly, holding a piece of his tail in her teeth. Then a brilliant idea occurred to me. I grabbed this tail and took the pig to my kitchen. The poor blind woman obediently trudged after me, thinking that she was still being led by the pig!

Yes, I must repeat again that resourcefulness is a great thing!

HOW I CAUGHT A BOAR

Another time I came across a wild boar in the forest. It was much more difficult to deal with him. I didn't even have a gun with me.

I started to run, but he rushed after me like mad and would certainly have pierced me with his fangs if I had not hidden behind the first oak tree I came across.

The boar ran into an oak tree, and its fangs sank so deeply into the tree trunk that he could not pull them out.

Yeah, gotcha, darling! I said, coming out from behind the oak tree. Wait a minute! Now you won't leave me!

And, taking a stone, I began to hammer the sharp fangs even deeper into the tree so that the boar could not free itself, and then I tied it with a strong rope and, putting it on a cart, triumphantly took it to my home.

That’s why the other hunters were surprised! They could not even imagine that such a ferocious beast could be caught alive without expending a single charge.

EXTRAORDINARY DEER

However, even better miracles have happened to me. One day I was walking through the forest and treating myself to sweet, juicy cherries that I bought along the way.

And suddenly there was a deer right in front of me! Slender, beautiful, with huge branchy horns!

And, as luck would have it, I didn’t have a single bullet!

The deer stands and looks at me calmly, as if he knows that my gun is not loaded.

Luckily, I still had a few cherries left, so I loaded the gun with a cherry pit instead of a bullet. Yes, yes, don’t laugh, an ordinary cherry pit.

A shot rang out, but the deer only shook its head. The bone hit him on the forehead and did no harm. In an instant, he disappeared into the thicket of the forest.

I was very sorry that I missed such a beautiful animal.

A year later I was hunting in the same forest again. Of course, by that time I had completely forgotten about the cherry pit story.

Imagine my amazement when a magnificent deer jumped out of the thicket of the forest right at me, with a tall, spreading cherry tree growing between its antlers! Oh, believe me, it was very beautiful: a slender deer with a slender tree on its head! I immediately guessed that this tree grew from that small bone that served as a bullet for me last year. This time I had no shortage of charges. I took aim, fired, and the deer fell to the ground dead. Thus, with one shot I immediately got both the roast and the cherry compote, because the tree was covered with large, ripe cherries.

I must confess that I have never tasted more delicious cherries in my entire life.

WOLF INSIDE OUT

I don’t know why, but it often happened to me that I met the most ferocious and dangerous animals at a moment when I was unarmed and helpless.

One day I was walking through the forest, and a wolf came towards me. He opened his mouth and came straight towards me.

What to do? Run? But the wolf has already pounced on me, knocked me over and is now going to gnaw my throat. Anyone else in my place would be at a loss, but you know Baron Munchausen! I am determined, resourceful and brave. Without hesitating for a moment, I thrust my fist into the wolf’s mouth and, so that he would not bite off my hand, I stuck it deeper and deeper. The wolf looked at me fiercely. His eyes sparkled with rage. But I knew that if I pulled my hand away, he would tear me into small pieces, and therefore fearlessly stuck it in further and further. And suddenly a magnificent thought occurred to me: I grabbed his insides, pulled hard and turned him inside out like a mitten!

Of course, after such an operation he fell dead at my feet.

I made an excellent warm jacket from its skin and, if you don’t believe me, I’ll be happy to show it to you.

MAD FUR COAT

However, there have been worse events in my life than meeting wolves.

One day a mad dog chased me.

I ran away from her as fast as I could.

But I had a heavy fur coat on my shoulders, which prevented me from running.

I threw it off as I ran, ran into the house and slammed the door behind me. The fur coat remained on the street.

The mad dog attacked her and began to bite her furiously. My servant ran out of the house, picked up the fur coat and hung it in the closet where my clothes hung.

The next day, early in the morning, he runs into my bedroom and shouts in a frightened voice:

Get up! Get up! Your fur coat has gone wild!

I jump out of bed, open the closet and what do I see?! All my dresses are torn to shreds!

The servant turned out to be right: my poor fur coat was furious because yesterday it was bitten by a mad dog.

The fur coat furiously attacked my new uniform, and only shreds flew from it.

I grabbed the gun and fired.

The mad fur coat instantly fell silent. Then I ordered my people to tie her up and hang her in a separate closet.

Since then, she hasn’t bitten anyone, and I put it on without any fear.

EIGHT-LEGED HARE

Yes, many wonderful stories happened to me in Russia.

One day I was chasing an extraordinary hare.

The hare was surprisingly fleet-footed. He gallops forward and forward and at least sits down to rest.

For two days I chased him without getting out of the saddle, and could not catch up with him.

My faithful dog Dianka did not lag behind him a single step, but I could not get within shooting distance of him.

On the third day I finally managed to shoot that damned hare.

As soon as he fell on the grass, I jumped off my horse and rushed to look at him.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that this hare, in addition to his usual legs, also had spare legs. He had four legs on his stomach and four on his back!

Yes, he had excellent, strong legs on his back! When his lower legs got tired, he rolled over onto his back, belly up, and continued to run on his spare legs.

No wonder I chased him like crazy for three days!

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Rudolf Erich Raspe

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

THE MOST TRUTHFUL PERSON ON EARTH

A little old man with a long nose sits by the fireplace and talks about his adventures. His listeners laugh right in his eyes:

- Oh yes Munchausen! That's it Baron! But he doesn't even look at them.

He calmly continues to tell how he flew to the moon, how he lived among three-legged people, how he was swallowed by a huge fish, how his head was torn off.

One day a passerby was listening and listening to him and suddenly shouted:

- All this is fiction! None of this happened what you are talking about. The old man frowned and answered importantly:

“Those counts, barons, princes and sultans whom I had the honor to call my best friends always said that I was the most truthful person on earth. The people around laughed even louder.

– Munchausen is a truthful person! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

And Munchausen, as if nothing had happened, continued to talk about how a wonderful tree grew on the deer’s head.

– A tree?.. On the head of a deer?!

- Yes. Cherry. And there are cherry trees on the tree. So juicy, sweet...

All these stories are printed here in this book. Read them and judge for yourself whether there was a more truthful man on earth than Baron Munchausen.

HORSE ON THE ROOF

I went to Russia on horseback. It was winter. It was snowing.

We had to spend the night in an open field.

There are no bushes or trees around. Only a small column stuck out from under the snow.

I somehow tied my cold horse to this post, and I myself lay down right there in the snow and fell asleep.

I slept for a long time, and when I woke up, I saw that I was lying not in a field, but in a village, or rather, in a small town, surrounded by houses on all sides.

What's happened? Where am I? How could these houses grow here overnight?

And where did my horse go?

For a long time I did not understand what happened. Suddenly I hear a familiar neigh. This is my horse neighing.

But where is he?

Neighing comes from somewhere above.

I raise my head - and what?

My horse is hanging on the roof of the bell tower! He is tied to the cross itself!

In one minute I realized what was going on.

Last night this entire town, with all the people and houses, was covered in deep snow, and only the top of the cross stuck out.

But my poor horse remained there, above, on the roof. Tied to the cross of the bell tower, he could not descend to the ground.

What to do?

Without hesitation, I grab the gun, aim straight and hit the bridle, because I have always been an excellent shot.

Bridle - in half.

The horse quickly descends towards me.

I jump on it and, like the wind, I gallop forward.

WOLF HARNESSED TO A SLED

But in winter it is inconvenient to ride a horse; it is much better to travel in a sleigh. I bought myself a very good sled and quickly rushed through the soft snow.

There was no hope of salvation.

I lay down on the bottom of the sleigh and closed my eyes in fear.

My horse ran like crazy. The clicking of wolf teeth was heard right in my ear.

But, fortunately, the wolf did not pay any attention to me.

He jumped over the sleigh - right over my head - and pounced on my poor horse.

In one minute, the hindquarters of my horse disappeared into his voracious mouth.

The front part continued to jump forward in horror and pain.

The wolf ate my horse deeper and deeper.

When I came to my senses, I grabbed the whip and, without wasting a minute, began to whip the insatiable beast.

He howled and rushed forward.

The front part of the horse, not yet eaten by the wolf, fell out of the harness into the snow, and the wolf ended up in its place - in the shafts and in the horse harness!

He could not escape from this harness: he was harnessed like a horse.

I continued to whip him as hard as I could.

He rushed forward and forward, dragging my sleigh behind him.

We rushed so fast that within two or three hours we galloped into St. Petersburg.

Amazed St. Petersburg residents ran out in crowds to look at the hero, who, instead of a horse, harnessed a ferocious wolf to his sleigh. I lived well in St. Petersburg.

SPARKS FROM THE EYES

I often went hunting and now I remember with pleasure that fun time when so many wonderful stories happened to me almost every day.

One story was very funny.

The fact is that from my bedroom window I could see a vast pond where there was a lot of all kinds of game.

One morning, going to the window, I noticed wild ducks on the pond.

I instantly grabbed the gun and ran headlong out of the house.

But in a hurry, running down the stairs, I hit my head on the door, so hard that sparks fell from my eyes.

Should I run home for some flint?

But ducks can fly away.

I sadly lowered the gun, cursing my fate, and suddenly a brilliant idea occurred to me.

As hard as I could, I punched myself in the right eye. Of course, sparks began to fall from the eye, and at the same moment the gunpowder ignited.

Yes! The gunpowder ignited, the gun fired, and I killed ten excellent ducks with one shot.

I advise you, whenever you decide to make a fire, to extract the same sparks from your right eye.

AMAZING HUNT

Unfortunately, I didn't have a single bullet left.

I stood indecisive for a long time and suddenly remembered that there was a piece of lard left in my hunting bag.

Hooray! This lard will be an excellent bait. I take it out of my bag, quickly tie it to a long and thin string and throw it into the water.

Ducks, seeing food, immediately swim to the lard. One of them greedily swallows it.

But lard is slippery and, quickly passing through the duck, jumps out behind it!

Thus, the duck ends up on my string.

Then the second duck swims up to the bacon, and the same thing happens to it.

Duck after duck swallows the fat and puts it on my string like beads on a string. Not even ten minutes pass before all the ducks are strung on it.

HORSE ON THE ROOF

I went to Russia on horseback. It was winter. It was snowing.
The horse got tired and began to stumble. I really wanted to sleep. I almost fell out of the saddle from fatigue. But I looked in vain for an overnight stay: I didn’t come across a single village on the way. What was to be done? We had to spend the night in an open field.

There are no bushes or trees around. Only a small column stuck out from under the snow.
I somehow tied my cold horse to this post, and I lay down right there in the snow and fell asleep.

I slept for a long time, and when I woke up, I saw that I was lying not in a field, but in a village, or rather, in a small town, surrounded by houses on all sides.

What's happened? Where am I? How could these houses grow here overnight? And where did my horse go?
For a long time I did not understand what happened. Suddenly I hear a familiar neigh. This is my horse neighing. But where is he?
Neighing comes from somewhere above. I raise my head - and what?
My horse is hanging on the roof of the bell tower! He is tied to the cross itself!

In one minute I realized what was happening.
Last night this entire town, with all the people and houses, was covered in deep snow, and only the top of the cross stuck out.
I didn’t know that it was a cross, it seemed to me that it was a small post, and I tied my tired horse to it! And at night, while I was sleeping, a strong thaw began, the snow melted, and I sank to the ground unnoticed.
But my poor horse remained there, above, on the roof. Tied to the cross of the bell tower, he could not descend to the ground.
What to do?
Without hesitation, I grab the pistol, take aim and hit it right in the bridle, because I have always been an excellent shooter.

Bridle - in half.
The horse quickly descends towards me.

I jump on it and, like the wind, I gallop forward.

AMAZING HUNT

Unfortunately, I didn't have a single bullet left. And just this evening I was expecting a large group of friends to join me, and I wanted to treat them to game. I am generally a hospitable and generous person. My lunches and dinners were famous throughout St. Petersburg. How will I get home without ducks?

I stood indecisive for a long time and suddenly remembered that there was a piece of lard left in my hunting bag.
Hooray! This lard will be an excellent bait. I take it out of my bag, quickly tie it to a long and thin string and throw it into the water.
Ducks, seeing food, immediately swim to the lard. One of them greedily swallows it.

But lard is slippery and, quickly passing through the duck, pops out behind it!

Thus, the duck ends up on my string. Then the second duck swims up to the bacon, and the same thing happens to it.
Duck after duck swallows the lard and puts it on my string like beads on a string. Not even ten minutes pass before all the ducks are strung on it.
You can imagine how much fun it was for me to look at such rich booty! All I had to do was pull out the caught ducks and take them to my cook in the kitchen.
This will be a feast for my friends!
But dragging this many ducks was not so easy.

I took a few steps and was terribly tired. Suddenly - you can imagine my amazement! - the ducks flew into the air and lifted me to the clouds.
Anyone else in my place would be at a loss, but I am a brave and resourceful person. I made a rudder out of my coat and, steering the ducks, quickly flew towards the house.

But how to get down?
Very simple! My resourcefulness helped me here too. I twisted the heads of several ducks, and we began to slowly sink to the ground.
I fell right into the chimney of my own kitchen! If you had only seen how amazed my cook was when I appeared before him on the fire!

Fortunately, the cook had not yet had time to light the fire.

BLIND PIG

Yes, many amazing things have happened to me!
One day I was making my way through the thicket of a dense forest and I saw: a wild piglet, still very small, was running, and behind the piglet was a large pig.

I shot, but - alas - missed.
My bullet flew right between the pig and the pig.
The piglet squealed and ran into the forest, but the pig remained rooted to the spot.
I was surprised: why doesn’t she run away from me? But as I got closer, I realized what was going on. The pig was blind and did not understand the roads.

She could walk through the forests only holding the tail of her pig.
My bullet tore off this tail. The pig ran away, and the pig, left without him, did not know where to go. She stood helplessly, holding a piece of his tail in her teeth. Then a brilliant idea occurred to me. I grabbed this tail and took the pig to my kitchen. The poor blind woman obediently trudged after me, thinking that the pig was still leading her!

Yes, I must repeat again that resourcefulness is a great thing!

HOW I CAUGHT A BOAR

Another time I came across a wild boar in the forest. It was much more difficult to deal with him. I didn't even have a gun with me.

I started to run, but he rushed after me like mad and would certainly have pierced me with his fangs if I had not hidden behind the first oak tree I came across.

The boar ran into an oak tree, and its fangs sank so deeply into the tree trunk that he could not pull them out.
- Yeah, gotcha, darling! - I said, coming out from behind the oak tree. - Wait a minute! Now you won't leave me!
And, taking a stone, I began to drive sharp fangs even deeper into the tree so that the boar could not free himself,

and then he tied him with a strong rope and, putting him on a cart, triumphantly took him to his home.

That’s why the other hunters were surprised! They could not even imagine that such a ferocious beast could be caught alive without expending a single charge.

EXTRAORDINARY DEER

However, even better miracles have happened to me. One day I was walking through the forest and treating myself to sweet, juicy cherries that I bought along the way. And suddenly in front of me is a deer! Slender, beautiful, with huge branchy horns!

And, as luck would have it, I didn’t have a single bullet!
The deer stands and looks at me calmly, as if he knows that my gun is not loaded.
Luckily, I still had a few cherries left, so I loaded the gun with a cherry pit instead of a bullet. Yes, yes, don’t laugh, an ordinary cherry pit.
A shot rang out, but the deer only shook its head. The bone hit him on the forehead and did no harm. In an instant, he disappeared into the thicket of the forest.
I was very sorry that I missed such a beautiful animal.

A year later I was hunting in the same forest again. Of course, by that time I had completely forgotten about the cherry pit story.
Imagine my amazement when a magnificent deer jumped out of the thicket of the forest right at me, with a tall, spreading cherry tree growing between its antlers! Oh, believe me, it was very beautiful: a slender deer and a slender tree on his head!

I immediately guessed that this tree grew from that small bone that last year served as a bullet for me. This time I had no shortage of charges. I took aim, fired, and the deer fell to the ground dead.

Thus, with one shot I immediately got both the roast and the cherry compote, because the tree was covered with large, ripe cherries. I must confess that I have never tasted more delicious cherries in my entire life.

HORSE ON THE TABLE

I guess I haven’t told you anything about my horses yet?
Meanwhile, many wonderful stories happened to them and me.
It happened in Lithuania. I was visiting a friend who was passionate about horses.
And so, when he was showing the guests his best horse, of which he was especially proud, the horse broke free from the bridle, knocked over four grooms and rushed across the yard like crazy. Everyone ran away in fear.
There was not a single daredevil who would dare approach the enraged animal.
Only I was not at a loss, because, possessing amazing courage, since childhood I have been able to bridle the wildest horses.
With one leap I jumped onto the horse's ridge and instantly tamed him.

Immediately feeling my strong hand, he submitted to me like a small child. I rode around the entire yard in triumph, and suddenly I wanted to show my art to the ladies who were sitting at the tea table.
How to do this?
Very simple! I directed my horse to the window and, like a whirlwind, flew into the dining room.

The ladies were very scared at first. But I made the horse jump onto the tea table and pranced so skillfully among the glasses and cups that I did not break a single glass or even the smallest saucer.
The ladies liked this very much; they began to laugh and clap their hands, and my friend, fascinated by my amazing dexterity, asked me to accept this magnificent horse as a gift.

I was very happy about his gift, since I was getting ready to go to war and had been looking for a horse for a long time.
An hour later I was already racing on a new horse towards Turkey, where fierce battles were going on at that time.

HALF HORSE

In battles, of course, I was distinguished by desperate courage and flew into the enemy ahead of everyone else.
Once, after a hot battle with the Turks, we captured an enemy fortress. I was the first to break into it and, having driven all the Turks out of the fortress, galloped to the well to water the hot horse.

The horse drank and could not quench his thirst. Several hours passed, and he still did not look away from the well. What a miracle! I was amazed. But suddenly a strange splashing sound was heard behind me.
I looked back and almost fell out of the saddle in surprise. It turned out that the entire back part of my horse was cut off completely and the water that he drank flowed freely behind him, without lingering in his stomach! This created a vast lake behind me. I was stunned. What kind of strangeness is this?

But then one of my soldiers galloped up to me, and the mystery was instantly explained.
When I galloped after the enemies and burst into the gates of the enemy fortress, the Turks just at that moment slammed the gates and cut off the back half of my horse. It's like they cut him in half! This hind half remained for some time near the gate, kicking and dispersing the Turks with blows of its hooves, and then galloped off into the neighboring meadow.
- She grazes there even now! - the soldier told me.
- Grazing? Can't be!
- See for yourself.
I rode on the front half of the horse towards the meadow. There I actually found the back half of the horse. She was grazing peacefully in a green clearing.

I immediately sent for a military doctor, and he, without thinking twice, sewed both halves of my horse with thin laurel twigs, since he did not have any thread on hand.

Both halves grew together perfectly, and the laurel branches took root in my horse’s body, and within a month I had a bower of laurel branches above my saddle.

Sitting in this cozy gazebo, I accomplished many amazing feats.

BETWEEN CROCODILE AND LION

When the storm ended, we raised anchor and two weeks later we safely arrived on the island of Ceylon.
The eldest son of the Ceylon governor invited me to go hunting with him.

I agreed with great pleasure. We went to the nearest forest. The heat was terrible, and I must admit that, out of habit, I was very soon tired.
And the governor’s son, a strong young man, felt great in this heat. He lived in Ceylon since childhood. The Ceylon sun was nothing to him, and he walked briskly along the hot sands.
I fell behind him and soon got lost in the thicket of an unfamiliar forest.

I'm walking and hear a rustling sound. I look around: in front of me is a huge lion, which has opened its mouth and wants to tear me to pieces. What to do here? My gun was loaded with small shot, which would not even kill a partridge. I fired, but the shot only irritated the ferocious beast, and he attacked me with redoubled fury.

In horror, I started to run, knowing that it was in vain, that the monster would overtake me in one leap and tear me to pieces. But where am I running? Ahead of me, a huge crocodile opened its mouth, ready to swallow me at that very moment.

What to do? What to do?
Behind is a lion, in front is a crocodile, to the left is a lake, to the right is a swamp infested with poisonous snakes.
In mortal fear, I fell on the grass and, closing my eyes, prepared for inevitable death. And suddenly something seemed to roll and crash over my head. I opened my eyes slightly and saw an amazing sight that brought me great joy: it turns out that the lion, rushing at me at the moment when I was falling to the ground, flew over me and fell straight into the mouth of the crocodile!
The head of one monster was in the throat of the other, and both strained with all their strength to free themselves from each other.

I jumped up, pulled out a hunting knife and cut off the lion's head with one blow. A lifeless body fell at my feet.

Then, without wasting any time, I grabbed the gun and with the butt of the gun began to drive the lion’s head even deeper into the crocodile’s mouth, so that he eventually suffocated.

thin V. Bordzilovsky

The governor's son returned and congratulated me on my victory over two forest giants.

The book was written in 1786.
Retold for children by K. Chukovsky.
The text is based on the edition: E. Raspe. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. - St. Petersburg: Comet, 1996.

The fantastic “Adventures of Baron Munchausen” is based on the stories of Baron Munchausen, who actually lived in Germany in the 18th century. He was a military man, served for some time in Russia and fought with the Turks. Returning to his estate in Germany, Munchausen soon became known as a witty storyteller who dreamed up the most incredible adventures. It is not known whether he wrote down his stories himself or someone else did, but in 1781 some of them were published. In 1785, the German writer E. Raspe processed these stories and published them. Subsequently, they were joined by fantastic stories from other writers about the adventures of Munchausen. But the author of the book is considered to be E. Raspe. This work reflected the characteristic features of German barons and landowners: lack of culture, self-confidence and boastful arrogance. When the book became famous, people who constantly lie and attribute to themselves qualities that they do not have began to be named after Munchausen.

Rudolf Erich Raspe
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

THE MOST TRUTHFUL PERSON ON EARTH